15 year old with depression

[feathermucker]

For context, he's just 15 and an only child and I'm a single parent. No contact with father. He's into football, gaming etc. Good group of friends, no issues there. No girlfriend on the scene.

I know he's not being bullied.

He's normally very placid, doesn't let stuff get to him, doesn't get stressed etc.

Ive noticed that he's spending less time with friends, less time chatting on xbox (probably a little bit too much time on xbox but not completely excessive) He's been becoming more withdrawn in general.

Ive asked him about it and he's repeatedly assured me that he's fine.

Last night, I must have caught him at the right moment and I asked if he was suffering from low mood. He said yes. He's quite hard to read but after some casual chatting, he says his moods are up and down slowly throughout the day, he's been feeling low sometimes, he's had a cry sometimes, no thoughts of hurting himself but thoughts of wanting the low mood to stop.

I have a friend who works for a youth service who may be able to access counselling for him and I'm going to talk to the GP this week.

He's effectively broken up from school now.

I don't know what I'm asking but please can someone help, sympathise, hand hold

My DD was like this around this age, she'd had some issues at school, and she has a very poor relationship with her dad, which was getting her down. She had a bit of counselling through a youth charity, but I wouldn't say that massively helped her. I just spent a lot of time listening to her. We went out driving quite a lot. And I talked to her about how the brain works and some of the things that might help her. It was a slow journey, but she's now 18 and she has a bit of anxiety still sometimes, but the depression seems to have completely gone. It's horrible when you're going through it, but my advice would just be to be there without feeling that you need to fix things, because that can put more pressure on them. Just take it slowly, obviously unless you think he's really in danger, which it sounds from the conversations you've had with him already he's not. Good he opened up to you, you must be doing something good!

@TabbyStar

My DD was like this around this age, she'd had some issues at school, and she has a very poor relationship with her dad, which was getting her down. She had a bit of counselling through a youth charity, but I wouldn't say that massively helped her. I just spent a lot of time listening to her. We went out driving quite a lot. And I talked to her about how the brain works and some of the things that might help her. It was a slow journey, but she's now 18 and she has a bit of anxiety still sometimes, but the depression seems to have completely gone. It's horrible when you're going through it, but my advice would just be to be there without feeling that you need to fix things, because that can put more pressure on them. Just take it slowly, obviously unless you think he's really in danger, which it sounds from the conversations you've had with him already he's not. Good he opened up to you, you must be doing something good!

Thank you, I appreciate your reply.

I'm feeling a bit calmer about it today than when I found out last night.

He's like a closed book with his emotions, bless him.

We're going on a drive today and he might be meeting friends later so that's good.

Guess I've just gotta take one day at a time x

Does anyone else have any advice? We're on the list for counselling but I'm finding this really hard

My son has been depressed on and off for about 4 years. He had support from school and camhs. This was only short term so I now pay for him to have long term in put as that is what he needs.

I try to spend some time with him on his own a few times a week. Watching a film. Or playing x box. I'm rubbish. I just talk rubbish. But he knows if he wants to talk then this is his pocket of time. We also got a dog. So we can walk together. Or he can go off out in his own

It's so hard to know what to do for the best. My friend works for a youth service so he's getting counselling through that, hopefully starting soon.

Ive handled it terribly, got over emotional with him, tried to reason with him. He keeps insisting he's fine but then that was what he said for weeks and weeks before he eV tually admitted he's got low mood.

I KNOW I need to be calmer and more rational and not put any pressure on him, but you hear stories of teens going off and hurting themselves.

When it's your babies you just want to protect them. I have spent many hours talking with my ds. About low mood. We both struggled when his dad left. And how we can do small things that make a difference. We always makes nice plans at the weekend. Cinema. Or take away. Always try to have something we are looking forward too. Also draw on others mental health in the news. My son is a big robin williams fan. I'm guilty of him being in his room and I'm busy with everything else. So have to make a conscious effort to engage with him. We eat together at tea time screen free time and play board games. Just drawing him out of his room and joining in. He helps with DIY jobs, bins etc. So has a sense of purpose. I also send him to 'check' on my parents and an elderly neighbour who loves a lone. Just mindful he can spend hours in his own company. Which is the roast thing for him sometimes.

Poor boy, 15 is a difficult age, you're neither an adult or a child. It's not uncommon for teens around that age to be depressed but it doesn't usually last. Something will happen or an idea will crop up that captures his imagination and the low mood will pass.

At least we hope so. Obviously if it continues or gets worse, he will need to have some professional help but it's better if that isn't necessary.

Just be nice which you sound as though you are.

Been there got the t shirt. Same age. Counselling over a couple of years helped massively and my son is back to his normal happy self again aged 17. He was really slow to implement strategies suggested by the therapist but eventually did. The therapist also suggested reparenting. Talking daily is important, try driving or walking together or similar to create a good space for discussion.