And it went exactly how I thought it would.
Brief back story - were married, moved with him in the army, he couldn't keep it in his pants, spent money like it was going out of fashion without caring if I could buy food, and loads of other stuff. I left him just after DS2 was born because I couldn't cope anymore. I was miserable and so was the oldest. He chose to have no contact and the whole family erased us from their memory and pretended we never existed whilst threatening me and spreading rumours about me.
DS1 is now 15 and has always been curious. He has no memory of his father as he was only 2 when we left. He has asked for help to track him down. He set up a new Facebook page just for tracking his father down. He commented on a photo on his fathers aunts page which led to a friend request from his paternal grandmother and a message. He were able to find his fathers page from friends lists and discovered he had blocked us all from his page so he had gone looking for me and the kids and blocked anyone with the same name.
He messaged his father and said you owe me some answers. Father agreed and said he could explain. He then went on to say we were young, it was a good marriage but it declined, we got into debt and split up when he was 3 and both wanted to move on a d communication was difficult for us. My son said straight away that that was giving him red flags and asked me what I thought. I said if I was to use a computer to describe it I would use brown.
I've never lied to my kids. I have told them what they need to know when they ask in an age appropriate way. He replied to his father saying "so people named x,y,z or anyone else didn't have anything to do with it then?" Only then he admitted the truth and said yes they did but it was a long time ago and he regrets what happened. I explained to my son that this was typical as even when faced with evidence he would still try to lie and explain it away.
He kept asking for video calls. My son refused because he doesn't want to see him and wants to just message. Father agreed but then kept pushing it. It ended when father refused to answer any questions unless it was on a call. Son had asked him simply how many kids he had because he knows he used to pretend DS2 didn't exist or said he wasn't the father and all friends and family seem to think the newest child is his first and only. Son got pissed off and said either start telling the truth or that's it. So that's it. No more communication. My son ended it saying if he wanted to start being honest he could get back in touch as he was leaving the page active but that was it as far as he was concerned.
I am both insanely proud and devastated that this has happened. I didn't need to worry about my son falling for my ex's lies as he saw right through them all. But I'm devastated that still after all this time he has no desire to apologise, still won't admit his failings or want to try to foster a relationship.
I'm not sure where to go from here. DS2 has no idea because he is younger and more sensitive. He has also never asked any questions or expressed any desire to find his bio father. We haven't told my husband that contact has been made. He was worried he would be rejected by the kids and that it would cause trouble and upset our son but the opposite has happened.