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Can I expect ex to get a job?

9 replies

emilys1982 · 13/07/2021 00:24

My daughter is 10 and I split from her dad when she was 1.5yrs. He has always been consistent with paying £250 per month through a private arrangement and having her every other weekend. When the pandemic hit, all of this stopped. He was working as a personal trainer so of course had no income. But was also ineligible for government payments as he had not been declaring enough tax to qualify. He would have been eligible if he had. I've received no maintenance for 16mos and I am getting quite annoyed! He says work is slow but he is doing a course to improve his marketing skills and gain new business. Fine, but at what point can I expect him to get a viable job? Clearly the fitness industry is going to be slow to bounce back, and I feel he needs to plan for this. Also, if it was me I would have no choice other than to seek employment. He seems focused on his preferred career path but taking it for granted that I can cover everything. Financially I can, but I think it is wrong that he takes that for granted. Just to add, he has an older child and I know the mum struggles financially. He has also not given her anything. I find this even more upsetting, and would prefer that at a minimum he at least supports her. He also has a new baby but I understand his partner is working and therefore able to pay the mortgage etc. I believe he makes some contribution though. I'm at a bit of a loss, so any advice welcome! Thank you for reading

OP posts:
PickAChew · 13/07/2021 00:25

You can expect it but it doesn't mean it will happen.

emilys1982 · 13/07/2021 00:27

Lol very true!!! I guess it just seems unfair that he can pick and choose if he wants to provide

OP posts:
emilys1982 · 13/07/2021 00:28

And how much I can reasonably push for him to look for a job

OP posts:
MotionActivatedDog · 13/07/2021 00:29

What a catch. 3x3 and pays for none.

You can hope for the best and expect the worst OP. Other than that there is nothing you can do about his job situation. If his partner is happy to carry him then he’ll never get a job.

MotionActivatedDog · 13/07/2021 00:29

@emilys1982

And how much I can reasonably push for him to look for a job
You can’t.
Viviennemary · 13/07/2021 00:30

I dont think there is a lot you can do if he isn't earning much. And you've been split up for a very long time and he has paid all these years. Still it is irritating that he's gone on to have another new baby when he has two children to support already and no job. It would annoy me. years.

emilys1982 · 13/07/2021 00:31

Thank you. And yes you are right. Oh dear!

3x3 made me giggle though!

OP posts:
emilys1982 · 13/07/2021 00:34

Yup. I'm fairness the new baby was conceived pre pandemic. But yes the lack of urgency to get an income is frustrating given all of that!!!

OP posts:
PumpkinKlNG · 13/07/2021 10:21

You can’t, my ex hasn’t worked in 5 years 😂 he was paying me £7 a week for 4 kids which I cancelled as it’s a bloody insult, doesn’t sound like your ex has been that bad tbh I’m sure he will get one soon

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