OK, not sure whether this should be here or in legal. Please help advise my mate who is terrified her XP will attempt to snatch her kids. Long story.

[filthymindedvixen]

They have been separated for around 2 years. He left her for no apparent reason other than he couldn't cope with family life. He then had no contact with his kids for 8 months. He then decided he wanted some contact. She arranged it, gradually, so he could have them every other weekend. he is now with a new partner and her child.

She was having the kids as usual for xmas and he was having them for new year. Suddenly, out fo the blue, he sends her a barrage of abusive texts saying he wants them for xmas. She said no as they are going away to her mother's.
He has totally flipped out, bombarding her with abusive texts, has fallen out with his mother who he says has ''stitched him up'' and ''made him sign stuff'' (there is no legal paeprwork involved.)

He has parental responsibility towards one child but not the other. She is terrified that in his (alcohol and drug fuelled) state he is likely to try and snatch her kids for christmas.

What should she be doing, legally to prevent him doing something like this (he is IMHO, mentally ill, is prone to totally irrational behaviour with no thought to consequences)

Any advice here welcomed.

No proper advice really but for starters:
Write down everything that has happened so far re ex's recent abusive behaviour, with dates and witnesses etc. - as much detail as possible.
Keep those text messages.
Speak to the police about her concerns?
You said there was no proper paperwork re custody/contact - maybe now is the time to start getting that sorted out. Would she qualify for Legal Aid?

Hope someone with more of a clue comes along soon.

thanks hassled - it's actually very reassuring to know that you are backing up what I have already suggested

I have to go now, but will check thread tomorrow....my friend is not a mumsnetter but, thanks to me, she knows you are all-knowing, wise and fabulous....

Fist of all she needs to see a solicitor ? she should get a 1 hr appt foc?I did and if you read the LP section it seems so did lots of others.

She needs to keep the threatening text messages and any other evidence of his abusive (drug and/or alcohol) nature ? willing witnesses would be very useful.

Then she needs to make a claim to the courts for residency for the child/ren involved. Once approved, if he takes them then he has committed an offence.

When she has a full residency order she can make a claim for a ?supervised contact order? where he can only see the child/ren at a contact centre with supervision. He won?t be allowed to take them anywhere.

Not exactly the best environment for the kid/s but needs must and all that?.. But if all else fails and she is forced to allow him access ? make sure she has an address and contact number before she allows him to take the child/ren.

My solicitor told me that whether the paperwork is straight or not as per ValnBen's post, if he takes my DS and does not return him on time - he is kidnapping and ALL security will go bananas (docks, airports etc) to find him - especially because I knew where he would go.

Take the phone to the police - it is harrassment. That is illegal. It will help her case if she can get it logged, at least.

Yes you are correct Lewis ? in most cases ?residency? of the child/ren is automatically assumed to the mother so therefore paperwork not required, and any attempt to remove a child and/or not return in time is classed as abduction, but it cannot always be guaranteed ? so best to seek legal advice.

Oh, for sure - the legal system of family court is a minefield. Seems to change daily with different judges!!

great advice here, thanks you. I willprintout this thread for her

How quickly can this stuff be sorted out d you think? She is especially worried about the run up to christmas, for obvious reasons.

Hi FMV ? not sure how long it will take to sort out ? legal wheels are usually slow, but if your friend can demonstrate (with evidence) that there is a real danger that her x will abduct the child then I?m sure she would be able to get an emergency injunction against him within 24 or so hours.
She should inform the police about any threats and texts asap - then she has it on record so helps with the evidence part.

CAB or Sols on Monday is her best bet.

Please send her my best wishes ? hope this gets sorted out for her soon.

Also, if he does not have PR for one child and takes both children, he has already committed an offence regardless of any court order (or lack of).

Your friend can apply for a residency order and, within those proceedings, she could also apply for a specific issue order, which would cover removal of the children and/or contact over Christmas. If she is genuinely concerned that he is a danger to the children, she may need to apply for a prohibitive steps order. Her solicitor will know which is the most effective.

yes freckle thanks!

The child he has PR for is in a nursery but their contract is with the mother as she pays them. So he is probably 'safe' while there. The child at school is the one she is worried about. She will be seeing a solicitor on Monday to get a letter for the school, stipulating that only she is allowed to pick up the child.And of course, making sure she personally delivers him into the building...

jUST LIKE TO ADD ABOUT THE NURSERY THING. wEHN my x and i split up there was a threat that he could have done this.

I spoke to the nursery and i said unless agreed that he would be picking up then they cant let him leave. Tehy said that they would contact me but they couldnt stop him from taking our son unless we had an court agreement that is legal and binding.

Speak to a solicitor, gingerbread are very good as well.

thank you all, will show herthis thread today. I know she is contacting solicitor tomorrow.