Hi all, I have posted before about a few problems I had but not really taken part in the forums! Wanting to change that now and hopefully make some friends. Im Sarah, 38 and have a dd aged 4 and I live in London.
I split from my ex 2 years ago due to DV, and my daughter and I moved in with my parents. At first my ex was visiting a lot (trying to get me back) and contact between him and dd was always based around me (his choice). 2 months after I left he met someone from a chat site, they met the next day, "fell in love" and she moved in with him within a month! Within 3 months they were engaged and she got pregnant. During all this time there was very little contact between him and dd, every time I suggested it he was too busy with the gf or wanted the gf to come too, which I refused. Eventually contact stopped and solicitors were involved. Anyway, to skip on in the story a little, my ex has now split from his gf. His story is that he never really loved her and only stayed with her because of the baby, and the relationship was going nowhere so he asked her to move out with the baby. She is still living with him whilst she finds a flat. Since then, he has been in touch quite a bit and has started seeing dd again, every fortnight for several hours at a time. I insisted the contact was supervised because of the lack of relationship between them and I have always been present with them, but I am starting to think that his visits arent just about dd, but me also. He has quite blatantly told me that he thinks as we are both single we should use each other for sex but that he is not interested in having a relationship with me because we dont work well together! I honestly think that if he was alone with dd for the visits he wouldnt last longer then 1 hour before making excuses and leaving. I must admit that during the visits we do get on well and have a laugh and joke, and there are some feelings there, though I am not sure if they are for him particularly or just a man in general.
What worries me is that as soon as the gf moves out he will start (if he hasnt already) scouring the chat sites and dating sites again looking for his next conquest, and when he does dd will start to get pushed out again like last time. Dd loves having her daddy over and talks about him constantly but I think its just a novelty for her at the moment because it has been so long.
Why is is ex's and men are such shits! Since leaving him I have had several married men sniffing around wanting one thing only, all because I smile and say hello! Like they think if you are a single mum you are an easy target and desperate for attention! Grrrr, where are all the decent men?
I guess its just a case of stayig strong, relepping his advances and being there to pick up the pieces if he does break dd's heart again? Anyone got any similar experience they can share?