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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Lone parent dating

11 replies

PumpkinKlNG · 03/07/2021 17:36

Posted in relationships but didn’t get any response so maybe here would be better.

How do you date as a lone parent with no support? I’ve been single for 5 years and I’m only 32, I feel to young to say this is it forever, I don’t really want to wait until my kids grow up and move out as by then I will be in my 40s and I know it will be much harder to meet someone then. How do others seem to manage it?

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sittingonacornflake · 03/07/2021 17:42

Can you wangle a weekday coffee whilst children are at school?

unicornsarereal72 · 03/07/2021 17:42

How old are your children. What hours do you work?

You can go for lunch time dates whilst they are in school.

Do they go to the nrp at all?

Teenage baby sitters

Swap play dates and sleep overs with friends.

It is easier once they are 10/11/12. And can be left alone for a few hours here and there.

PumpkinKlNG · 03/07/2021 17:47

No father involved at all no. I have 4 ranging from 10 down to 4 (ex left me when I was pregnant) so not old enough to be left alone

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Steelesauce · 03/07/2021 18:03

I found myself a teenage babysitter, do you have any friends with teenagers? Or a neighbour?

My mum has them overnight occasionally too.

PumpkinKlNG · 03/07/2021 18:13

My mum would never have them for me to date, she’s just not that kind of person. She doesn’t have them at all, maybe if I was in hospital she would, but not so I could have a social life. Don’t know any teenagers unfortunately most of the neighbours are elderly so don’t have teens etc

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Steelesauce · 03/07/2021 18:24

School mums with older children? Look online for people advertising babysitting services?

PumpkinKlNG · 03/07/2021 18:26

Thanks but I wouldn’t leave them with strangers, maybe I’m just destined to be single forever 😂

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imeanreeally · 03/07/2021 18:39

Thanks but I wouldn’t leave them with strangers, maybe I’m just destined to be single forever

I think if you don't want to be single forever, you'll need to put some effort in to get over the "not leaving them with strangers" part.

Like yeah, a random teenager off the street is a bit much from the get go - especially with four of them and the oldest being only ten and the youngest four.

But if I was you, I'd start planning now so that come the autumn, you've built up a bit of trust with someone?

Why not start off paying a teen to baby sit for an hour while you're home / in the garden / out for a jog around the block? Then the older two for a few hours while you're out? Just work up gradually until you trust them? Since any potential dates will probably be a night, and you can put the young ones to bed, you're really just looking for someone to be responsible in an emergency, stop them from killing each other or themselves, and contact you if they're not sure about anything.

If that's totally out of the question then the only other thing you can do is hope to meet someone at work. I did this once... was fine having him over when the kids were in bed because I'd already known him for a year so was as confident as anyone could be that he wasn't a mass murderer.

If that's a no too then unfortunately I think you're probably going to be single for a while, at least until the oldest is a teen and can babysit for you. Good luck whatever you decide Star

niclw · 03/07/2021 22:58

Do you know another single mum? If yes, perhaps you can help each other out when it comes to dating.

butterfly990 · 03/07/2021 23:24

Have a look at meetup. It's local groups with local interests.

My neighbours are elderly in their 80's with no kids. They drive my 3 kids to school, babysit when I go on dates. They are like honary grandparents. I am truly blessed.

PumpkinKlNG · 03/07/2021 23:27

Mine isn’t like that I’m afraid, other than taking in the occasional parcel we are not friends and she’s never shown an interest in my kids 😂

The single mums I know kids go to their dads on weekends so don’t need childcare

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