Letting go of anger and accepting how shit EX is.

[CocoLady]

Split with ex when dd was 1 she's now 6. I'm still a single parent who lives alone with my dd but not so long ago started a new relationship.
Dd dad is a complete waste of oxygen. He works cash in hand or bank transfer that I'm aware of, but claims poverty. Only thing since he left was he sees her overnight once a week. I opened a case 4 years ago with csa we decided to do direct pay. Since then maintenance is always late or he completely misses it. Chance after chance and fed up of scrimping and saving I said I'm going to request collect and pay he agrees then to pay me the tiny pittance of a few pounds per week on time. I sent a message to him confirming the amount date etc advised any more missed or late payments I will go straight to csa. He's not given to telling me he will pick up our child on a sat morn as he used to but then tells me late at night before that it will b later he'd collecting her as 'I want my money so I have to work'

He's spoken to Me like crap in front of our child numerous times in the recent past and been aggressive previously. He doesn't ever communicate with me doesn't answer his phone or txs. He's a nasty bully Really st in eutvg

You have done a great job bringing your dd up by yourself for the past six years. Celebrate your successes.

It is best to give her father as little head space as possible. It only upsets you. He wants you to be mad. Angry and upset at his actions. Don't let him win.

I only communicate with my children's father about pick up times. And anything important he needs to know. He is not involved day to day. So I only see it as passing information on. I don't need a reply. I realise this is harsh. But this is after years of him not being involved. No support in anyway and a year with no way to contact him directly.

I would push back regarding contact. He collects at ten. Or you get on with your day until the next week.

Expect nothing. Know you are doing it all yourself. I also get intermittent child support. I move what I can to a savings account. We get by. I
Budget and make what I have work for us. I get frustrated sometimes. But I know I am giving the children a loving and secure home and up bringing.