How do you manage being parent, it's so lonely and hard to make friends

[Kerrie2194]

How do you guys manage being parents, I know some people have loads of support and friends but personally for me I've found being a Mum has made me so incredibly lonely, I never had loads of friends but a few although they've all drifted away since I had my son.

My little boy is 9 and we tried baby groups etc when he was young but really struggled to fit in with the 'clique' and always felt like an outsider.

When he was in nursery and early school he had tonnes of birthday parties etc so it was much better but for a few years now it's just been me and him and whilst I love all of the amazing time I get to spend with him I miss other people and having other people to go out with either on my own or play dates and stuff.

I like to think we're likeable and good fun but I'm starting to think we're the problem and I don't know why to do.

I have 4 children and no friends, my kids have disabilities so didn’t get invited to play dates or parties so we missed that boat! Yes I find being a single parent very very isolating, the only person I talk to is my mum 🤦‍♀️

I had friends from before kids that had kids at similar times to me. A couple it brought us closer because we had more reason to meet up etc. I also made a few friends from baby groups but there was no pressure for me to make friends otherwise I think I'd have been to stressed to let things progress naturally. Could that be similar to you? That there was a lot of pressure to form a relationship?

Although I get the isolating bit, I've turned into a baby bore and can't bring much to a conversation unless it's baby related (or that's how I feel, I do like listening to what other people are up to but I'm just really listening rather than conversing). Are you working or have your own hobbies so that your not just making mum friends? The same with your son, is he into any groups or inviting friends to do things etc?

Also a lot of the mum friends I made are just that, to do mum things with and the friendship fizzles out when our kids aren't into the same things or going to the same group etc.

Hi OP, I can't offer any practical advice unfortunately but I can relate to feeling isolated.

I'm currently pregnant (solo mum by choice), so I'm trying to anticipate what my social group/circle will look like once the baby is here. It appears to be really difficult to strike up and maintain friendships as single /solo parents who don't have a lot of help/family/partner/a wide friendship circle.

I've been thinking about trying out non mum/baby related clubs/activities so that I increase the pool of potential friendships - diverse groups of people where the 'friendship' isn't grounded in having children. I don't know if this is wishful thinking? I'm already dreading the possible isolation and 'cliquishness' of baby/mum groups that I've read about on some threads here, but there also some positive threads/posts as well.

It almost seems easier to get into a relationship than build and sustain a good, reliable group of friends!? I genuinely want to expand my very small circle of friends (and especially now that I'm still pregnant and have time etc), but with covid many meet up groups are still online only and I'm getting saturated with zoom calls etc.

You aren't alone, and I wish there were other more abundant alternatives to coupling up

Hi, I can’t offer any advice but just wanted to write and offer support as I am feeling exactly the same. I’m so lonely spending every evening on my own once the kids are in bed with no one to talk to. I have a few friends but only 1 is single and the others are all with their families and partners. Maybe can chat on here and keep each other company?