I gave myself 1/2hr this morning

[TheOrigRights]

I work from home (have done for years). DS is 12 so doesn't need childcare as such and in many ways the juggle has become a lot easier.

However, he does need some attention of course and while he's not much trouble, he's just here during holidays.

First day back at school. He left for the bus at 8am and I went back to bed with a cup of tea. Normally I get straight to work.

It's fine to get to my desk later, but I feel so indulgent and that I've wasted the time he's out of the house.

It's just so lovely that someone else has responsibility for him and I can stand down.

There's no point to my post, but I imagine it's something only true lone parents can empathise with.

that is not wasted time! I hear you, 30 mins of quiet is bliss and it is needed

enjoy the peace!

It sounds like you might benefit from taking this time regularly, and/or taking a day (or two!) off when he's at school if you can. Absolutely nothing wrong with that! Don't feel guilty for looking after yourself too.

I do this all the time when I drop her off at school! When else would I get that time?! Don’t feel guilty. I quite often catch up on half an hour/hour of work in the evenings and use the time during the day to just have me time when I don’t have her in my care.

You’re not wasting time. Allow yourself the rest and decompression.

Thank you my people

My colleagues and employer have been amazingly supportive during the last year so I'm conscious of that as well. Also with many of my colleagues being in Hong Kong our overlap time is my morning.

I tend not to work in the evening so I can spend time with DS or do some sport, then when he's in bed (which at is age is not early!) I get the housework done and hopefully get a bit of down time at the end of the day. I'm a night owl. Every morning I tell myself I get to bed early, and then it gets to 11.30pm, all the jobs are done, the house is quiet and it's just too glorious to waste being asleep.

I'm sure I'm chronically lacking sleep!

Totally hear you OP! Thank you for the reminder that 30 mins of quiet time is not wasted. Easy to forget as a lone parent, when there's so much stuff to do. You end up feeling like a workhorse. Those 30 mins are valuable as a reset and I can see just as important as All The Stuff x

I'm a sahm and I often have a lay down when toddler naps and the others are at school or pre school.
Toddler is a bad sleeper and teething and I do all the night wakes. As dh has been working 15 hour days. So I don't mind.
I used to feel it was a waste as I could have been doing something in the garden or whatnot. But I figured that can wait. And I can chill

@3LittleDucksQuack

I'm a sahm and I often have a lay down when toddler naps and the others are at school or pre school. Toddler is a bad sleeper and teething and I do all the night wakes. As dh has been working 15 hour days. So I don't mind. I used to feel it was a waste as I could have been doing something in the garden or whatnot. But I figured that can wait. And I can chill

Being a SAHM is entirely different to being a lone parent.

Mine are a bit older and not so demanding, but I still felt so relieved when they went back after last lockdown.

Somebody else was in charge for a while and I know this sounds stupid but I didn’t have to think about what to make them for lunch.

Just 30 minutes! I'm a LP to a 12 year old and I get/need at least 2 hours a day to myself. That's only possible because I am up at ridiculous o'clock thanks to years of early rising then peri menopause . However it's so worth it. Those couple of hours peace in the morning are bliss and I've grown to love getting up early. The world is lovely and quiet at 6am! I had to give up the idea of time alone in the evening as the 12 year old has more stamina than me and I tend to go to bed first

Toty I am exactly the same, but I take my time at the other end of the day.

Freshprincess I know what you mean about the lunches - it's the relentlessness of it all and knowing you can't just not bother, or if you let things slide that it will all land on you at once.

@TheOrigRights I just came across this and it really resonated with me.
On Saturday I dropped DD off at her activity. I usually go to the gym whilst she's there (which I do think of as me time) but I had some errands to run.
Everything done and 45 mins to pick up I decided to wait in a cafe. I had a bacon sandwich and a coffee and let me tell you it was glorious to sit there with something I hadn't made myself.
We really do need these periods of self care. It's just too easy to burn out otherwise.

[quote OhamIreally]@TheOrigRights I just came across this and it really resonated with me.
On Saturday I dropped DD off at her activity. I usually go to the gym whilst she's there (which I do think of as me time) but I had some errands to run.
Everything done and 45 mins to pick up I decided to wait in a cafe. I had a bacon sandwich and a coffee and let me tell you it was glorious to sit there with something I hadn't made myself.
We really do need these periods of self care. It's just too easy to burn out otherwise.[/quote]
It's lovely that everyone is supportive of each other on this thread, and there's no 'who has it harder' competitiveness.

I can almost feel that sense of total relaxation Oham - just knowing that no one will need anything, or disturb your thoughts.

I also understand about it being different to exercise time. Having undergone some therapy for an eating disorder I now understand the importance of doing nothing. Exercise is very important to me and I do regard it as 'me time' and thus taking extra to relax felt indulgent, but actually they are both important for different reasons.