Lone(r) parent

[ColaOlaLa]

This post is going to sound really pathetic but I wondered if any other single mums feel like this, I took my children to the park yesterday and omg I was so shocked by the amount of families/friends, I seemed to be the only person completely on my own and there was so many big groups of families, aunties uncles cousins grandparents etc! I’m always a bit of a loner wherever I go but yesterday just really magnified it, I know it’s half term so more likely to see families etc but I think yesterday just really brought it home. To the point I’m dreading taking them to the park again today. Everyone is always in big groups and I’m always on my own, I don’t have any friends, the friends I had pre children drifted away, I didn’t attend baby groups etc, everyone said I would make loads of mum friends when mine went to school but that just hasn’t happened. My family wouldn’t dream of coming to the park with me and it just wouldn’t be their cup of tea, is anyone else always on their own?

I have to say i don't notice. My ex worked away months at a time so although I was use to doing things solo. I was in a relationship so guess it didn't occur to me at that time. I've now been a single parent for several years and I'm too busy watching the children to notice anyone else. Both have extra needs so I'm
Hyper vigilant about their needs and what's going on around us.

Have you considered single parent groups to make friends to do trips out with? I did at the start and made a really lovely friend to make plans with which really helped at such a difficult time. Now I don't much care what people think. And just get on with things

I remember in the summer of 2013 when we had a heatwave going to sit in the park alone with my kindle and gradually and uncomfortably realising I was the only one there alone! I sympathise!

Since having my baby I’ve found it easier to make friends but it must be hard. I wouldn’t worry though. I often walk with just me and ds and I don’t think anyone ever thinks anything about it but it’s horrible when you kind of become ‘aware’ of it!

I have been a single parent since I had my DS 8 years ago. I often used to feel like this in his pre school days, but feel it a lot less now he's older. Bank holidays/weekends were often the times when I noticed it more. Now I couldn't care less,....... still wherever I go he comes with me and we're our own little team. The grass often feels greener, but it's not - it's just different.

I’m glad to hear it doesn’t bother others 😂 still doesn’t make me feel better though, it never use to bother me much but I find I’ve gone the opposite way and before it never bothered me and now it does. I see lots of mums meet up at the park and it’s more of a social event for the mums, even the park near me most times I go there is a big family and there must be about 15 of them all together and all their kids, just feel like a Billy no mates, I’ve never had that big friendship group that all meet up in the park with their kids for picnics etc, dreading the 6 weeks holidays! there’s no single parents groups near me and mine are too old for baby/toddler groups now and the school gate thing didn’t happen

Have you tried Gingerbread?

Yes I'm a solo type of lone parent (no ex around, no other support) and I do experience this. I find it hard to connect with other parents, their whole parenting experience has been so different from mine. My DD will make friends easily in a park but I feel quite alone, mostly because I am. I have lived like this for years, I'm not that old but I've spent a decade alone.

I will admit I'm not a huge fan of small talk either, which doesn't help. And I work full time, I'm actually earning a decent wage in a professional job but it doesn't leave a lot of time for socialising with other parents.

Not sure what the answer is...

Me.past parks now.

Yes I totally feel this - you’re not alone