housing.. funding a new start

[Debra1981]

hi all, just thought i'd see if i could get a bit of a nudge to stay sensible on here, as getting a bit frustrated stuck living with parents and sharing room with 17-month dd pretty much since her birth. At that point i had zero self esteem, and was starting from scratch on job front due to ex's abuse affecting my work previously. Still feeling protective of lo so uncomfortable with thought of fulltime work (sorry and much respect to ladies who have to), am working parttime but finances are just ticking along, not really saving anything up to help buy furniture and stuff we'd need for a place of our own. we are on the council housing list and am able to regiter interest for available houses, but am a bit nervous of being thrown in to scrabble about for secondhand stuff and then never having enough money after the bills to replace it with new. i know families survive like that when they have to but i still have the choice of staying here for a while, so i'm looking into a second job to help save for a decent start, but it'll take time to build up a useful amount. Parents can be overbearing with dd sometimes but i feel rude saying anything when they are letting us stay. And we just get in each other's way. I feel I always have to go along with their lifestyle preferences as its their house, and seem to have no privacy. Bit of a dilemma, but think sensible answer is just to stick it out til i can afford to kit out a house with basic but new stuff. Anyone agree?

Hiya Debra,

I sympathise with you for your situation, I really do.

But why do you need to have new things?

Yeah sure kitting your house out with new things throughout would be lovely wouldn't it!

Do you realise how much money you could be spending on cheap new things to kit you out?

If you're only working part time and have very little cash to play with it would take you years to save enough money to do what you want to!

And after all your hard scrimping and saving and putting up with your lack of privacy your left with a home filled with cheap furniture that lasts less time than it took you to save for it!

Good quality, secondhand furniture is sturdy, cost effective, eco-friendly, and it can even be beautiful!

From personal experience, the thing you need to save for, that you'll want to be new and that will benefit you the most, is fitted carpets (or laminate flooring, but beware, it can be cold) Your council will probably refer your case to a housing association and housing associations do not provide carpeting! Living with rugs over a cold concrete floor is not fun!

Oh and new mattresses, never have a secondhand mattress!

You can even get good quality, reconditioned, electricals (washing machines etc) from places such as the british heart foundation furniture charity shops. They will last you a good few years and are a fraction of the cost of buying new.

I don't mean this to come across as an opinionated rant, I intend this only as advice from someone living in social housing on a limited budget!

no debra you dont need new, when I moved into my first house when I was 23 I had 2 deckchairs until someone gave me a couple of chairs, then later on someone else gave me a 2 seater sofa, you dont have to have eveything matching and no-one else is going to be bothered with what you do or dont want, if you wait around to have new then your flat will be bare, keep getting onto the council for a property and look towards moving out of your parents, there is also freecycle where you can get 2nd hand goods for nothing.

Debra, I'm in exactly the same position, staying with parents and sharing a room with DD. I hate to tell you this but I was told by my local council that whilst ever I had somewhere safe to stay, albeit having to share a bedroom, then I would never get to the top of the housing list and that the only way to get council housing would be for my parents to write to the council and say that I could no longer stay at their home. I don't know if it's the same in your area but it might be worth finding out. If you did decide to make a break and get a council house or rent privately, you would get some help towards rent etc. As for furnishings, it's amazing what you can get these days in supermarkets and pound/discount stores. It might not be the best quality but the way I see it is if you kit yourself out as cheaply as possible then you can always buy new stuff as and when you can afford it later on. I don't want to work f/t either and it is hard coping without a f/t income. Maybe it'd be worth asking your lone parent advisor to look into how much better off you'd be with a second job or maybe doing more hours in the job you have but not f/t?

OOh and to help with the money thing (although you probably already know this) there's working and child tax credits! when you apply they get back to you, and start paying out, really quickly!

ok points taken! thanks guys. i know you can get good secondhand stuff, guess i'm still just worried about going and starting with nothing appliance-wise, and the carpets. (ok i'm actually a bit nervous about going it alone, which doesn't help!). zmandaz, think the council situ is similar round my parents, so i am unlikely to be housed locally, but where i lived with exh short drive away, they have more stock and a bidding system for houses with bands instead of points, and houses allocated to those waiting longest, whatever their situ, so i'm qietly hopeful, as i've been on their list almost a year. just a little rant about having to notify the world and his dog about changes in circumstances! just got offered legal aid with contribution from my pt wage, but want to apply for wtc, so will have to mess about with legal aid again before i even look at another job.

I was totally overwhelmed with the paperwork and red tape involved in getting Legal Aid for my divorce and Lone Parent help. It's mind boggling! That's good that you could get a house soon. I wish it was the same round here but unfortunately I was told that there will always be people bypassing me - some genuine, some not so. I'm hoping to be able to afford to rent privately once I'm working but I know what you mean about appliances and carpets and it is daunting doing it alone. I've got a couple of catalogues which I've almost paid off but I'm going to keep the accounts open because they do really cheap curtains and other stuff which I know isn't the best way of buying them but at least that way I can pay them off monthly rather than having to buy them all at once. The other place I'd recommend is Ikea. Some of their furniture and houseware is really cheap. Let us know how you get on

Debra, We were homeless and on the emergency housing list for over 12 months. When we finally managed to get through to someone who was willing to talk to us at the council they had convieniently lost our application. The only reason we got housed was because we got on to our local MP.
As you've been on the list for nearly a year I recommend you get on to your local MP and ask them to look into your case for you. The MP really want's your vote next time round so they'll put the pressure on to the council and the council seem to move like someone lit a fire under them when an MP's letter arrives on their desk! It's worth it!
For reduced priced appliances try ex-catalogue shops and discound warehouses. You may also get help from your council/housing association when you get placed - by us (birmingham) they have a charity scheme that you have to be invited to by the council/housing association. They assess what furniture you will need and you are given a list and go off to a warehouse where you can buy secondhand stuff that corresponds with the list for next to nothing (less than £10 for a dining table and four chairs), this sometimes includes appliances, it depends on their stock at the time. If your circumstances are right you may also be eligable for a grant to help you kit your place out (your health visitor or CAB may be able to help you with the details).
I can understand you being a bit freaked at the prospect of going it alone but have some faith in yourself, I'm sure that you can do it!