Why is it always us?

[loneparent12345]

There is an expectation that the Mother will always take time off work to look after the children, the school called the ex to have them for one day as I could not get away from work and he refused even though he was at home - so I had to leave a dying patient. These men are beyond belief. Give me strength.

I feel you. I put my mum as the school emergency contact after me because there’s no way my ex would go get them either. It’s infuriating and it feels like they’re never held accountable for being such shit fathers.

Op that is shit.

I've done the same as the previous poster with school contacts.

Thats a really good idea but he made sure we moved over two hours from my family (part of his control) and the children love their school, but this is now he controls me via child arrangements I feel like giving him residency to get away from his prison but I love them too much and just cannot do it :-( truly trapped :-(. I have no time to even date because he switches things at the last minute and has them when he feels like it. The fact the courts cannot force the father to have them but the father can force us to give them child contact when they feel like it and they can decide if to turn up. It is so injust. sorry having a moan. Hard day today, cannot believe I am in this position mid-life, with no time to date or meet anyone new. Hes already with someone else and getting married, it just seems so injust and I spend every night alone with Neflix :-( So lonely.

Hi op that's sounds super shit. I understand you dont want to pull them out of school but which schools are they in? Can you plan a move (hard I know) when they are going to be moving up a school? You really need to be somewhere where you have support as you clearly can't rely on him. Do you have a court order with him?
I'm so sorry you are feeling like this giving you a virtual hug 💐

My ex has never been to my kids school let alone picked them up oldest is in year 5 so says it’s all, he’s not down as an emergency contact, my mum is, as hard as it is I think you have to stop relying on him, he’s clearly unreliable

@loneparent12345 you are unfortunately not alone. Stick with it the kids won't be little for ever. You sound an amazing mum!
Men get away with murder when it come to parenting only want the fun stuff and when it comes down to the daily grind their job is always more important!
I currently have this battle I work three days only to be told I'm a greedy lazy cow ( his words last night) but am expected to cover most of the holidays and school drop off and collections. WE have three children.
I feel stuck as can't increase my hours as Be worse off due to childcare costs.
Us mums deserve a medal we really do it's shit and sometimes I feel the same give him custody so he can no longer control my life

Keep a note of his refusal. Might come in useful if you need to move so there is support for the children.