Not enough RL social support (loneliness & isolation)

[Musttryharder2021]

I'm 39, single and currently pregnant with a much wanted baby (conceived via assisted reproductive treatment).

Before getting pregnant and just being single, I had spent so many evenings and weekends alone, feeling awful and really upset at my situation, trying to understand how my life had turned out like this (a combination of moving around the country a lot, divorce, not being rooted in one place for long, friends drifting and moving on etc., so some personal, poor decisions and some external factors are to blame). I have no family nearby (mother and sister) but do have one good friend who lives near me.

I'm full-time and permanently employed and have a secure home, but the lack of social (support) network is making me anxious in particular with regard to being pregnant now. Of course I knew this beforehand, but as the treatment has worked and the pregnancy is progressing well, so I'm trying to be as proactive as possible now in finding out how best to improve my situation.

Has anyone managed to forge meaningful friendships via NCT classes/baby groups or elsewhere? How do you cope with the loneliness and isolation in the evenings/weekends (in particular those with no, to little family support/ex partners?

Thank you in advance.

Hi, I am still in touch with my NCT group 14yrs on. Before the dc's went to school we met almost every week and since then it's been school holidays.
Try and get to as many parent and baby groups as you can (pandemic permitting), even if you don't make best buddies you'll still have a group of friends you can hopefully have a wander round the park with and stop each other climbing the walls.

Not quite the same situation but I had children young so none of my school friends were in the same situation. I met some of my best friends through baby groups and when my children started school. I am a very shy person but I found the children created a common ground and I found it much easier to create friendships and talk to random people.

It's a big mixture. I recommend the Frolo app for meeting other single parents.

I never really met anyone I kept in touch with at my NCT classes but it does seem popular.

However, I did go to bookbugs, toddler groups, baby massage classes etc. and met so many lovely friends. 3 or 4 of them are now my closest friends. Our kids are still friends and they live local so I see them all the time and you've always got so much in common as you're going through the same things at the same times.

You're being amazingly strong doing what you're doing! I think the best thing you can do when you have your baby is to put yourself out there. Looking back all the baby classes I went to, they were much more beneficial for me than my DD.

I tried to do something daily to make sure I got out the house but it was an amazing opportunity to meet great friends as you can potentially have almost a year off work together for catch ups & coffees etc.

There is so much common ground to chat about so even though I'm usually a bit shy and awkward around new people but being at the same baby group is the perfect ice breaker! You just need to ask about the baby, sleep routine, weaning tips etc and that'll be you chatting for hours! Didn't take long to get on to other subjects....I now feel like I tell these friends far tmi about absolutely everything and vice versa. In fact certain things I would tell these girls but not my "older" friends as it's a different type of relationship.

It can be incredibly hard with a newborn without a good social network but there are so many new mums out there looking for someone going through the same as them