Comments that make you laugh

[Happycat1212]

Not in a good way! I’m a lone parent to 4 and when I was saying how exhausted I am to my mum never getting a break, (father not involved.) She said to me “You do get a break, I had them for you 5 years ago!” 😂😑 the worst part is she was being serious.

Then my ex when he was involved he use to only come round to mine to see them (he never took them) “so you’ve got it pretty easy then, They just stay in their rooms all day” No they are in their rooms because they don’t want you here!

Anyone else got any?

Before they brought in the single parent bubble during lockdown 1, being told "it's OK, at least you've got your family around you". Me and 1 kid, no nursery and working full time from home...

Yes my ex often says your so lucky to be able to be with your kid all the time. Well yes I am but I also put a lot of hard work in . The reason your not is because your a drug addict who I had to call the police on as you were injecting drugs in front of our son. It really gets to me when he says anything but that hurts.

The COVID ones were annoying, I said I was looking forward to mine going back to school and got “don’t you want to spend time with your kids?” Erm they are with me every single day. Sorry for looking forward to the 6 hour break I get 😕

Oh another one from my ex when asking for cm I got “you don’t have kids to get paid!”

My ex.

"I will not be dictated to by anyone what I should pay you for my daughter.

You can give me receipts every week and I will review them."

He got told to get fucked.

Wow what a Prince! 😑

"At least you get to be with her, I miss her all the time and it really, really hurts every day being apart from her".
The man who's been a deadbeat since DD was 1, let her down an incredible amount of times with the most ridiculous excuses (eg "I can't make it today because I've shit my pants on the bus" - he was already 3 hours late) and has gone on to have another DD who he's done the same to. DD is now 9 and we haven't heard from him since 2019.

' I have booked a day off to take DD to Y' - once in 9 years you have taken a single day to facilitate her. Now the event has been cancelled due to COVID he has lost his shit 'it affects my work you know'.

I think my favourite comment comes from my DH's ex wife. She asked me to take a week off work last year to look after my stepdaughter for the week because she was as suffering with her mental health, I welcomed my stepdaughter and helped homeschool her which wasn't easy by any stretch of the imagination. Fast forward, she reports me to social services for being a danger around her daughter because I have bipolar disorder. Something I've had for absolutely donkeys years and it is well controlled with medication and therapy! I was very surprised when I received that phone call, funnily enough social services agreed that I was not a danger to her so no further action was taken!

My ex who has never been a hands on dad, usually sees ds at my house on a Sunday (his choice). He lives 85 miles away. He started whining about doing ALL the driving, saying it was totally unfair, he had to drive every Sunday and why didn't I bring ds half way.
Until I pointed out the 10 school runs a week (7 miles each way, twice a day, so 140 miles) plus swimming lessons, doctors, dentists, parents evenings, sports days, carol concerts, play dates, hospital runs, shoe shopping........

Haven't had a peep out of him since

Julia, exes are mad aren't they! I've had my fair share of idiots but luckily I don't have any children with them. When my DH and I first got together I made him aware that I am absolutely and definitely team Mum because the dad usually in the wrong. I now eat humble pie and we are campaigning for his daughter to come and live with us full time!

This weeks nugget

'It wasn't a selfish decision to sleep over?'

What now? So my child sleeping on your bedroom floor next To you and your new g/f they just met 6 hours before was for the dc benefit?

This week was a corker

“I’m not feeling my best so I won’t be having DC this weekend.”

Excuse the fuck out of me, but being a bit poorly doesn’t excuse you from parenting, our DC are 12/10! So hardly difficult.

And it was only going to be the eldest there this weekend, as the youngest has been refusing to go for a few months now (that’s a whole other story).

My husbands always at work, I may as well be a single parent

@FAQs

My husbands always at work, I may as well be a single parent

God that fucks me off so much! And they can’t even see what the difference is.

“You chose to have kids with him”

“You knew what you were in for”

That’s re my third DC, who is with another ex, who was abusive as fuck. I found out I was pregnant after we had split up, and I’d had a miscarriage a months before. Sorry that I didn’t feel like aborting?! Luckily he’s as absent as it’s possible to be, dodges CMS by job hopping, has gone from being an alcoholic to also being a drug user who sofa surfs/house shares till he gets booted for not paying rent.

I’m grateful he isn’t around.

I just wish I had the money to divorce him - it’s been 5 years and I’d rather have the type where they don’t notify him, but there’s so many hoops to jump through to get that, and I’d rather hire a barrister to do it for me, however as a single parent and a full time student, there are no funds.

'You knew what you were letting yourself in for when you married him'

Ah yes, my crystal ball predicted that his ex wife and her partner would be charged with child sex offences and we'd end up in the middle of a court case, parenting two frankly broken children, sectioning his mother, nursing his father through life changing medical issues and unpicking utterly ridiculous family legal issues - all at the same time. Clearly, this was always set in stone as I tripped merrily down the aisle.

How remiss of me not to plan for this!

Yep I can relate to so many of these! “The you know what you was letting yourself in for” I remember saying to my sister (as ex doesn’t see our kids) why did he have kids with me then if he wasnt going to see them, and she said “you mean you had his kids!” As if it was something I done to him and he didn’t get a say.

My ex, who walked out on my out of the blue during our second pregnancy, told me..... "you might have given birth to him but I put him there in the first place" 🤢🤢🤢🤢
Isn't that just the most pathetic thing you've ever heard!

@SlipperTripper

'You knew what you were letting yourself in for when you married him'

Ah yes, my crystal ball predicted that his ex wife and her partner would be charged with child sex offences and we'd end up in the middle of a court case, parenting two frankly broken children, sectioning his mother, nursing his father through life changing medical issues and unpicking utterly ridiculous family legal issues - all at the same time. Clearly, this was always set in stone as I tripped merrily down the aisle.

How remiss of me not to plan for this!

No, it's more about women who complain of lazy husbands not picking up childcare, also complaining about struggling financially. Well if you knew what it was like after the first child, why did you have more kids with him (not you personally)?

My ex tells everyone "that bitch kept the house". It was solely my house before we'd even met 😂

@LilyinWonderland

My ex tells everyone "that bitch kept the house". It was solely my house before we'd even met 😂

Ok imagine you moved into your partner's house then later you get married.

If you move out of the house after divorce you would also say 'he kept the house', right? Because you would say it was a martial asset. And he got to keep it.

I see a lot of women saying they paid towards house renovations, mortgage, bills etc. therefore the house belongs to both partners (even if originally the house came from the partner) And they are correct.
So it has to work both ways.

('Bitch' is totally out of order btw)

@LilyinWonderland mine says the same. Once the original equity was deducted from the over all equity at the point he left his share was minimal. But without any child support over the last few years I'm not in the position to save the money out standing. Or get the mortgage in my own name without 3
Months consistent child support.

@Veronika13 We weren't married and he contributed to food bills only. It was always my house...

I have the opposite from a school Mum who has 2 DC and an ex.

Her term-time week is something like this:

She works 9am-5pm x 4 days.

Drops her DC off at her parents house (GP, my NDN and friends) Mon-Fri at 7am every day so that she can swim before work.

GP take GC to school and collect them from school Mon-Fri.

Picks her DC up from GP’s house at 6.30pm after they have eaten their tea Mon-Fri.

Has Friday to herself.

DC’s father (her ex) has them every weekend Sat AM- Sun PM.

GPs wash the GC’s clothes and it is sent back with them on a Monday night.

Whenever I bump into her she likes to tell me that she ‘doesn’t get a minute to herself’ and how she ‘has to do everything’ herself as a single Mum.
I think she forgets I’m friends and NDN with her parents.

I know this is unusual but just pointing out that CF like this exist.

Yeh I know ones like that, my sister is like that, complains she never gets a break but her son lives with his dad 50/50 🤦‍♀️ Whereas my ex is absent so they are with me every day. But I’m sure they actually believe what they say about never getting a break etc