Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Original poster

Ex refuses to engage with CMS - what will they do?

17 replies

Thatstoomuch · 15/05/2021 07:46

Hello,

I have tried to get ex to pay CM via the CMS before but he didnt answer the phone or letters and they told me they couldnt contact him. I then enquired about direct pay so they would take it from his salary but due to the fees i didnt proceed because
i didnt know what he earnt and whether it would be worth the inevitable hassle i would get from him.
Now hes let slip that he earns £30k and is 'rolling in it' (his words) so im determined to claim for my children. He only sees them EOW.
What happens if he doesnt engage again? How do the CMS get his employment details? I have them but not his NI number.

OP posts:
MotherOfGodWeeFella · 15/05/2021 07:47

They send his employers an order to make deductions from his wages. By law they have to comply.

bonfireheart · 15/05/2021 07:49

If you have name, address etc they can do their own checks via HMRC to track his employer. It's harder if he is self-employed.

Original poster
Thatstoomuch · 15/05/2021 07:50

So if i give them his employment details, address etc they can do it without his involvement?

OP posts:
Original poster
Thatstoomuch · 15/05/2021 07:51

Hes not self employed, he works for a large, well known company who i would assume are used to dealing with this sort of thing

OP posts:
midnightstar66 · 15/05/2021 07:54

They'll take it straight from his wages, the fee is lent that much for you but it's quite a bit for him. It will take a long time though and if there is the opportunity to work for them on a self employed basis I'd imagine that will suddenly happen

Ohpulltheotherone · 15/05/2021 07:55

Yes get back in touch with CMS with as much info as you can but realistically all they actually need is name address and date of birth right, they will be able to access HMRC details and check his income / PAYE status.

Don’t mention it to him, just get straight on it and let them deal with it. The cheeky fucker needs to pay and they have the power to deduct it straight from his wages!
Good luck!

Original poster
Thatstoomuch · 15/05/2021 07:58

No he cant change his employment type.
The reason i havent proceeded before is because he lived in a house that we had a joint mortgage on and he said that if i claimed he wouldnt pay the mortgage (yep hes that kind of man) and i didnt want him wrecking my credit history. We just sold that and he has nothing to threaten me with now. He could quit work, but im not sure he would stoop that low......i dont think.

OP posts:
MotherOfGodWeeFella · 15/05/2021 08:02

When it comes down to it, it's money he should be paying for his kids. Do it. He'll probably rant and rave at you when he finds out, but a decent father wouldn't need to be pursued like this for the money.

Original poster
Thatstoomuch · 15/05/2021 08:03

Thank you all, i feel much better now i know it will happen regardless if him. Kids are almost teenagers and will really benefit from this.

OP posts:
unicornsarereal72 · 15/05/2021 10:34

Phone the Cms. With as much information as you have. They will check HMRC. He is employed and paying taxes he will be in the system. They will give him the opportunity to pay you directly. Then contact his employer and arrange them to do a deductions of earning.

It takes time. And depends on the employer how quickly they sent things up. Then the employer makes a lump sum payment monthly to Cms and then it has to be allocated to the correct payment.

Fingers crossed it goes smoothly from you. He will be deducted a further 20% of the amount he is to pay for their trouble. You will be deducted 4% from your payment. Don't engage with him over this. He has had plenty of chances. Just say it is in the hands of the CMS.

I'm still chasing my ex 4 years on. Once they catch up with him. He goes self employed or changed jobs. Moves etc. It must be exhausting putting all that effort into now providing for your children. I'm not giving in.

unicornsarereal72 · 15/05/2021 10:35

Not providing not now.

clpsmum · 16/05/2021 08:06

Does anybody know roughly how long the process takes?

My ex pays less than the legal minimum requirement and I would rather go through the CMS to get what my kids are entitled to as we are really struggling but in the meantime I can't afford to be without what he actually does give us

midnightstar66 · 16/05/2021 09:11

There is no set length, depends how determined they are not to pay. It's easy to delay things by asking for reviews just before the deduction of earnings is set up. In my case it took 2 years then he left his job just before the first deduction was due. He's now self employed and conveniently doesn't earn anything. (He puts it in his girlfriends bank, he told me). They CMS also very kindly wiped the several thousand pounds of arrears with no appeal allowed. Alternatively if he pays up on their first demand or is scared by their empty threads if things that can happen if they don't pay, but never do, it can be set up pretty quickly within the month.

user1471528245 · 16/05/2021 09:28

@midnightstar66

They'll take it straight from his wages, the fee is lent that much for you but it's quite a bit for him. It will take a long time though and if there is the opportunity to work for them on a self employed basis I'd imagine that will suddenly happen
You cannot leave employment and start work self employed for the same company, there is a tax law called IR35 which was brought in to stop this happening, they would be in breach of this rule and still classed as an employee so subject to the same employment rules, the company would be liable for the tax and NI as they are responsible for setting the workers employment status
midnightstar66 · 16/05/2021 09:35

You cannot leave employment and start work self employed for the same company, there is a tax law called IR35 which was brought in to stop this happening, they would be in breach of this rule and still classed as an employee so subject to the same employment rules, the company would be liable for the tax and NI as they are responsible for setting the workers employment status

I know someone who did exactly this although was payed in cash in hand above the bare minimum so maybe slightly different. Anyway, there are ways round all of it if you are determined enough

unicornsarereal72 · 16/05/2021 10:28

@clpsmum first time I asked for deduction of earning the process started in the Oct. and I got my first payment in the February. He left that job in March.

Second time they deducted from his wages he started in an employed position in the dec. I got a payment in February. You can guess what happened in the March?

I think it was quicker the second time because he was in the system already. My understanding is Cms will ask the paying parent if they would like to pay you directly. They get 28 days to respond. Then they write to the employer for details of earnings etc. They get 28 days to respond. Then they are requested to make the deductions. Another 28 days to action. So at least a minimum of 3 months.

My ex swings from being employed. To working on a contract basis (self employed) to periods of not working. I stopped expecting the money a long time ago. If I get a months worth I count it as a bonus.

I have recently asked the CMS when they are going to actually use the powers they have to take money directly from his bank account etc. As they threaten it in every letter sent over the last three years.

I don't expect to see any improvement in the situation. But I'm not giving up. I've another 10 years of this and I will keep chasing for what the children deserve.

Starlightstarbright1 · 17/05/2021 22:39

My exh when it was csa. My ex refused to engage. Did answer the phone but told them it wasn’t convient to talk . They proceeded with claim.

He was unemployed so taken from his benefits

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread