Is this reasonable access for my Daughter and her Dad?

[Itsalwayssunnyin]

Hi all
Me and my ex split up when I was pregnant. DD has always lived with me as the resident parent. We started overnights with her Dad every other weekend when she was 15 months on a Saturday and have now increased to EOW Friday to Sunday.
He messaged me yesterday to ask to increased contact to 1 over night every Wednesday and he will take her to nursery the next day and me pick her up. She’s 2 now. I think this is good and seeing him more regularly will help her strengthen their bond even more.

For those of you who have this type of set up, did it stay this way? I am happy with this contact and think this is a god healthy amount, we also split holidays, Xmas and birthdays!

Just want an idea of what’s standard for a child of this age as I’m mindful that I don’t want it to be too much for her!

How far away are you from eachother ?

Only 15 minutes up the road

I think if you can both make it work it sounds good

Thank you it seems like a fair split to me and I’m hoping it can remain this way for the foreseeable future

I think it’s hard because I worry that it’s too much for her at her age but on the other hand I think it’s a great opportunity to strengthen their bond. I guess it’s all trial and error

ExH and I have a slightly complicated pattern that involves most handovers taking place via school - it works well for us and means DS has a reasonably balanced split of time between us. I originally suggested it instead of his suggestion of EOW partly because I didn't think that was enough time but mainly because I didn't want their relationship turning into Disney Dad Funtime every other weekend with none of the day-to-day discipline (and grind, yes that too). I would bite your ex's hand off if he is willing to take on some of the day-to-day care of his child - not from the sense of lightening your load (that's a side benefit, not the goal) but for the balance for your DD. She is young but that might work in your favour too - she won't really know any different and her relationship with her dad will be stronger if he's also involved in her normal daily routine, nursery etc rather than just fun days out etc at the weekends.

The only caveat I'd mention, from a hopefully unnecessarily negative POV, is to consider if he's offering this with the goal of reducing his maintenance payments...

It’s quite helpful to have that weekly overnight as otherwise every other weekend can feel quite far apart for children especially of that age. She may be a little unsettled at first due to a change in her routine but that can happen with any changes so give her a chance to settle into it before worrying that it’s not working.

I think if you are that close you can start it as contact on Wednesdays with your daughter coming back to you and then progressing to alternating overnights.

I know of a dad that goes to his ex home to put the kids to bed on Wednesdays so there can be many choices, I think it is reasonable but there are many ways to trial it out

It could actually be helpful at that age as eow is a long time before contact.

As pp said you could suggest a month of evening visits then to overnight to make it more gradual.