Can i find out my x's intention regarding seeing our child?

[foley]

My x hasn't seen our wee girl for nearly a year. he's recently said he wants to see her as hes started having to pay the CSA.

he's in the army and is posted 500miles away from us, but he seems to think i need to send her down to him. Can he do this?

is there anywhere i can go for advice? i dont thinks it fair they can just walk away and decide to make an appearance just out of the blue (although i dont no if he will actually do anything bout seein her)

hope i make some sort of sense! ta

Bizarre that he only decides to see her once the CSA catch up with him. I suggest that this indicates he's not really bothered about seeing her, but sees it as his "right" now that he's being forced to pay up.

You do not need to send her to him. If he wants to see her, he will have to make arrangements to come to you. How old is she?

say no.. let him take you to court if you're that adamant. Personally if he wants to see her I think he should make the trip not her.

If you let him take you to court they will ensure that contact is established over time so that your dd can get used to him before she is left alone with him (assuming she is too young to remember him). If she's not too young you could ask her if she wants to see him.

How old is your girl?

I don't think it would be fair to send her 500 miles away to see a man she hasn't seen for a year, and there is no way he can force you to do this.

You need to decide what's best for your daughter, is he likely to just disappear and reappear as and when he feels like it? In that case it wouldn't be in your daughter's best interest, and he would be visiting for his needs rather than hers.

thats everyone for replying.

our girl is nearly 18months. she was 6months when he last saw her. he never sent a birthday card or anythin when she turned 1.

it angers me more as i know he only want to see her as hes paying for her.

just not sure of my rights. want to do whats best for my girl. but no sure what that is.

Ok so your DD doesn't know this man then. There is no way he can see her on his own and he would have to make the arrangements to visit her where she lives and with you there.

I'd agree with Mascara and say tell him no, then if he really wants to he will have to go through court. If he's not serious about seeing here he probably won't bother. Either that or say yes, in theory, but only under your conditions, and see if he complies.

Stand your ground and be strong. You are in charge here, remember that. Not him.

thanks. i think i will tell him he'll need to go thru court to see her.

guess the only good thing is DD is too young to realise whats goin on.

back later x

Don't tell him he will need to go through court as that makes you appear unreasonable.

Tell him that, by all means, he can see her. He can see her at your home with you present as she doesn't know him and should not be taken from a known and secure environment to meet up with a stranger.

Chances are that he will not be willing to travel to see her. If he suggests or even demands that you take her to see him, just say calmly that that will not be possible because of her age and your finances and diary commitments.

Then over to him.

You must appear to be reasonable and willing to facilitate contact between the two, but that doesn't mean that you have to put yourself out physically or financially to do that.