Feeling isolated and lonely

[Sunsgoingdown]

I know this is going to sound very, very silly but I'm upset about something trivial which represents deeper hurts I think.

I live in a small community where there are no other single parents that Im aware of. I have two youngish children and no family within several hours drive of me.

It struck me today when kids were playing with other families that I have no one to take photos of me (no lockdown or restrictions in the country I live in). Stupid. Other peoples partners seem to want family snaps and be focused on each other. One day they'll look back and have the odd photo to show what they looked like at age X or see their happy faces when building memories. It struck me that I have no one that would want photos of me and it had made me feel stupidly weepy.

I have fought to keep my family and I love them deeply. I just feel like that's all I am - a cook, cleaner, provider, taxi etc. There's no space for me. I have no opportunity to date and not sure I'd want to. I'm a year and a half out of an abusive relationship and still feel so unwanted, unimportant and pointless.

I'm exhausted with pretending that I'm a strong, single woman. I'm lonely and I'd like someone to look at me as a person again.

Has anyone else felt like this? It feels like my life is over at 41 and I should just keep my head down and be invisible.

Yeh I feel this way a lot, I hate taking the kids out on the weekends as it always seems like family and couples everywhere but I’m always on my own

It gets easier as the children get older.

I take selfie's of me and the children. It's not the same but they will want picture of you when they get older. My ex never took any picture of me and the kids. There are none of them and me when they were born. Which makes me very sad.

Day to day life gets into the routine and by the time tea has come around I've got nothing left to give. I know I should do more and socialise with the children. So try and make more of an effort at weekend etc. Lock down hasn't helped on this.

I've started getting my eldest to cook with me at tea time. And my youngest at the weekend. I've got to cook anyway so it is a time to bond. I also like to spend a bit of the evening with my teen watching him play x box. My youngest like to play make up and hair dressing. This is a win for me I get to sit down with my eye shut for an hour.

As for dating. When the time is right you will start to get out there. I've been on my own for 3 years or so now. The children are older so I can leave them for hour or two. I have a teenager next door for the odd evening date. And the youngest goes to her dad eow. So there are pockets of time I can be available. So have tentatively started seeing someone this year.

41 is not old. You have at least a poss 41 years to go. Don't be righting yourself off. Just take care of yourself.

Thanks both. Sending you a single Mum to Mum hug.

Just reading your op. Have you looked into counselling?? I had some support from a charity and it was £10 a session for 12 sessions

In time you will feel stronger. When my ex left. I thought I was worthless he was narrsistic I know it gets thrown around a lot. But he is selfish. Manipulative. Lacks empathy etc. He had done a number on me. In time I know I'm worth so much more. I would rather be alone than with a substandard relationship.

Try to carve out time for you. exercise on YouTube. Paint your nails. Use hand cream, something I never bothered with and have terrible hands so why bother. I now I make a point of painting my toes. And trying to grown my nails. It is a small thing but I'm worth that little bit of effort.