So who else is dreading Christmas because of their children's father?

[Columbia]

I am...I saw him yesterday whizzing past in a car, don't think he saw me but it gave me the jitters...
He didn't show up to see his baby, who is now 5 months, and I hven't heard from him since but he has a very pushy mother who I'm afraid will try to bully me into a visit at Xmas, or bully him into visiting. It doesn't seem like a nice celebration at all, just an excuse for the ex and his awful family to get in touch.

Anyone else dreading it?

Me.

Ex has forgotten DS birthday (FINALLY WHOOP WHOOP!) so hopefully Christmas too.

Don't get bullied into a visit ON Christmas day - say you have other commitments and he can see the kid(s) either before or after (so like the 23rd or 27th or something) so that it doesn't ruin your actual Christmas.

Good luck

Thanks Lewisfan

I completely understand the sentiment, I mean it's sh*t that they forget our kids' birthdays but it always fills me with relief when I manage to avoid another stressful visit.
I am hoping he and his evil mother both stay away for ever!!

Good luck with yours x

LewisFan is right - by all means let him see the baby but make sure it's when it suits you. Especially if they don't make any effort to see the baby during the rest of the year.

I'm dreading this christmas too. H left us just before last christmas when ds was 1, and pretty much couldn't be bothered with us because he was too busy with his OW. This year, OW is off the scene, me and ds have moved on and finally found some happiness, and I just know he is going to be pushing to have ds as much as possible because he doesn't have a 'better offer'!

Of course I want ds to see his dad and spend time with him. But it's so bloody infuriating isn't it when they don't want to know one minute, but then when it suits them they want to be father of the year!

Going to make my own plans, do what I can to let him see ds, but absolutely not let it ruin our christmas in any way.

I've put my foot down already cos xh told me he'd be coming on xmas morning, so i said i didn't think it would be any good for dds to have a bad atmosphere in the house. He's going to see them on boxing day instead, but as he's unreliable i won't be telling them that until the last minute.

Oh how sad...I know, some of these men just can't be relied on about anything, I think you're very wise not to tell your dds. Then they won't be so disappointed if he doesn't show up.

my granddaughters dad wrote a few days after our grandson died ,im so sorry your baby died but can i see my daughters ,ffs the last time hed seen him police were taking him away after he tried to stab my dd ,why do u want to get a better hit, she rang him ok meet my parents ,havent heard fom him again

Good idea Hazy, sorry he was such a prick. Last thing you needed x

I will in future invite him round to a family gathering, ie my parents will be there too. I doubt he will come.

my Ex is going skiing this Xmas and told me out of the blue that he was taking our ds 7yrs too. When i told him my ds is with me so he stropped off in mega huff. Just hope Ex flies off a large snowy cliff and brakes botgh legs or just disappears forever !!!!
Know thqt bit cruel but he was violent towards me and cannot forgive him. PRatt !

lol @ maltesers, i feel like that bout my kids dad sometimes. hes a waste of space. didnt contact on his daughters bday because a week before i told him that as he hadnt been consistent with his contact he couldnt see her so he didnt even send her a card! as for the rest of his family im not impressed either! they dont contact at all! im worried he may turn up over xmas but we have buzzer entry so if he does i wont let him in and i will have my family there to help anyway!