Parental alienation- do I say something or not?

[ISolemnlySwearIAmUpToNoGood]

On the school run this morning 5 year old DD has said ex has told her that he wants me and my current partner to die in a corner. She volunteered this completely on her own and out of the blue. This isn't the first time she has said he has said something but it has been more low level up until now, that I am an idiot etc, so I have let it go and just said to her that it isn't very nice for him to be saying those things.

I am torn between addressing it with him to try and make him understand that it isn't ok to be saying things like this to a 5 year old, but at the same time this would be letting him know that saying these things to her is working as they are then getting back to me.

Does anyone have any experience with this please?

I'd bring to his attention.
When he collects say, sorry I haven't died in a corner with dp. We're very much alive and kicking. If dd returns saying anything in that nature again, I will take it further.

That's horrible!

I'd 100% say something. Yes, he might get some satisfaction that it got back to you but the impact it could have on your DD if it continues is far more of a concern!

He wants you to "die in a corner" doesn't sound like something an adult would say.
I would probably bring it up but I wouldn't use an accusing tone, I would just tell him what she had said and see what his response was.

@Thisnamewasnttaken123 unfortunately it is exactly the kind of thing he would say but you are right that I won't accuse of anything will just factually tell him this has been said

@OutspokenNotThatFunny @lucy5236 I am definitely going to say something to him about it and if it doesn't stop might have to resort to telling him that I'll have to look at take things further

Sorry you are having to deal with this.

Years ago my ex told our then 5 year old dd that he wanted to stab my partner so he could watch him bleed to death! This was part of a long line of inappropriate comments he had made to both kids.
Obviously dd was very upset and I phoned social services for advice. They told me that making comments like this to a child was emotional abuse and if I have concerns I was well within my rights to stop contact.

I did so and we ended up in mediation with him having to do a parenting course and supervised contact for a year. Unfortunately his behaviour didn’t change and at 9 she refused to see him anymore.

It’s so damaging for a child to hear stuff like this, my dd is now 14 and still dealing with the fallout of her fathers awful emotional abuse.

Make him aware you know and don’t be afraid to take it further if it escalates.

I was going to say it doesn’t make much sense the comment, so I would be careful about accusing him