Am I being petty?

[dreamscascade]

My ex sees our daughter one weekend a month and never contacts in between visits. He is hard to communicate with even the simple stuff. He hardly ever buys our daughter anything but the odd time he does he sends back to mine with her. Think clothes etc.

Would I be that petty in sending them back on the next visit. The things he bought she already has and my daughter didn't even pick them out! Or would I be best just putting them somewhere out of sight out of mind?

Why can't she just wear them, am I missing something?

Can't you just say "she has those things at yours, why don't you keep them at yours?"

Suspect there's a back story beyond what you've said ?

Sorry sentence didn't make sense. I'm sure you get the gist

Long long back story. I know I'm being petty but I hate anything he's bought in my house, just reminds me what a shit father he is. I'll just put them aside in a cupboard and if my daughter asks about them I'll get them out.

Sounds like a good solution.
Sounds like he won't notice and chances are your dd won't either

It's a shite situation, I know from experience.

Yeh it does sound petty

Are you sending clothes in visit. If so send them. I assume she will notice eventually. You then look like the issue not ex.

I assume he has no need for DC's clothesZ yes it's a bit petty. In sure it's upsetting but your dd is going to pick up on this which isn't fairS just accept them and put aside if you really don't want her to have them. Hopefully she forgets about them

Yes op it does sound petty.

Don’t fill your brain with this. There will be bona fide big issues in the long Journey of co parenting with him that will warrant your time and energy.

Not. This.

When she goes to him, why on earth do you not just dress her in the clothes that he brought?

I WISH my ex bought our DD clothes!

Just put the clothes in her drawers/wardrobe. They were bought for HER, you don't get to put them in a cupboard and pretend they don't exist. While her dad may not be the best dad there is, he still bought those clothes for her. It's up to her wether she wants to wear them or not.

Don't put things aside. Your daughter will notice.
Dsd dm used to do this. And Dsd noticed and always said to us that she never got to see the things again. One day she said oh I expect mummy hid that toy because she doesn't like things from your house.
It's pathetic and cruel.
We supply everything for her here but occasionally she used to ask to ake things home. Now she doesn't even ask. And we had to replace the missing items.

You are doing your daughter no favours by hating anything he buys in the house. He might not be the best dad but it isn't a race to can see who can make things the most difficult for your joint child.

He's not even a dad, only sees his daughter because his family made him feel guilty for not. They do the parenting on the time she does see him. The things are put aside if she asks for them but she won't.

That's beyond petty. He bought her things. It makes far more sense for them to come home rather than stay at his and hardly get used!

Of course she won't ask for them, even if she wants them. Children of separated parents learn how to be people pleasers very young when they have adults in their lives making unnecessary drama.