Absolutely fed up of unstable ex!!!

[november90]

He walked out on me when I was 5 months pregnant with our second baby -completely out of the blue.
He has always been unstable with me regarding contact. He's changed his job multiple times over the past year meaning he only sees our youngest for 3 hours once a week (he's breast fed). Our eldest stays 2 nights. I've always been accommodating with childcare and it's changed a lot recently because of his new jobs. I've done it to keep the peace but it's actually really bothering me now. I feel insecure and controlled by him.
He's spar his dummy out multiple times over the past year about the baby. Threatening to take him off me, threatening court, threatening to go to the HV because he doesn't believe what I say. The list goes on.
He's been quiet recently, but I knew he was biding his time until baby was one. He has just told me he wants to go from 3 hours to a full day when he turns one and he wants him overnight shortly after. I've told him it should be gradual. I'm so stressed with this. I feel so under pressure by him. I've done everything for our baby and he's acting like he knows him and what's best for him more then me!
Super stressed and just needed to rant :(

I wouldn't be so accommodating if I were you personally. Dont give in to anything you don't feel comfortable with just stick to your guns. When you communicate try to have everything down in writing, maybe set up an email for this or something.
I would stop chopping and changing and try to have set times. If he doesn't like it llet him take you to court. Tbh someone as unstable as him would be better under court order. He can't change then he has to go the set times the court have put out. It will be less stressful for you.

Thanks for the reply. I've also tried to stay amicable and flexible just because I thought it'd be nicer for the boys and eventually it would stop. I have ptsd after what he did to me when he left and the emotional abuse I was endured so I do tend to try and avoid going back there because although he really can be a lovely person, I don't see this side of him anymore!
I know that my youngest does need to start seeing more of him but it has to be led by him. Ex tells me he doesn't believe anything o say and will only listen to baby advice from the HV and not me. It's so hurtful.
I had told him we can start at 4 hours when he turns one... I feel like increasing it by a week every 6 weeks or so would be best. Baby o tl sees him once a week so it must be gradual in my eyes!
I hate this :(