Ok, I'll just give the bullet points as posted a few times but still struggling....
Son (nearly 19).
Quit A Levels suddenly last year after experiencing a summer job and not wanting to return home.
Caused me a lot of upset but eventually realised just how unhappy he's been.
Kind of accepted his choice and felt proud he was being independent.
He's living 2 hours away in a nice house with some student friends who work in the same industry.
He has a temporary contract which is seasonal so December last year he came home.
Due to Covid his industry didn't reopen fully until thus week but he insisted on heading back early February!
He passed his driving test in December and hastily bought a car, he'd saved up for it and his dad gave him some money for his 18th.
Cue mega worry when he left home again as I now had worries of him driving.
I told him he was going too early but at this point he had a girlfriend (from where he is currently living) and he wanted to be there. He was miserable at home.
He has worked in a restaurant at home whilst he was not working full time but obviously Covid closed it so he wasn't earning.
He assured me he could manage financially.
I thought otherwise.
I couldn't stop him going only try to support him.
I send the odd bag of groceries online to him so I at least know he's eating ok.
He chopped his windscreen (stone hit it) insurance wouldn't cover it so I sent him money to sort it (£180).
I've since found out he needed to use that for rent as he was arrears to his housemate.
He applied for universal credit which he got as he's on a low income.
Every few days recently he is asking for money for fuel and food as he doesn't get paid for a few days.
Soft (or stupid?) I give him money as I can't see him struggle. We're not talking mega money here just the odd £10.
I am currently staying in a beautiful lodge nearby him to see him. Thought I would treat it as a little break away for myself.
I have always tried to ensure he's a sensible driver. I work in emergency services which doesn't help anxiety as I've seen some awful things. He picked me up in his car, his driving really bothered me as he drove way too fast. He has a 'black box' fitted and assures me it's giving him good scores but again my anxieties went thru the roof.
Enjoying it but not see much of my son as he's working 12 hour days. Saw him two days, which was lovely.
Heading home tomorrow and struggling again knowing I'm leaving him.
I KNOW he's an adult but this isn't the path I thought he'd take. He was in a good place to get good A level results and then head to university to study in the field he's now working right at the bottom of, earning a pittance. There is potential for him to 'work his way up' tho.
Struggling. Hope this makes sense. I have brought him up on my own since he was 3, I miss him so much snd I worry about him all the time.