Is there any way I can claim child maintenance or am I out of luck!

[creaturcomforts]

My situation may be different to others but I honestly dont know what to do to look for help and wondering wether it's just the way things are qand I have to cope the best I can?

Me and husband of 15 years split up two years ago and he had moved abroad as he had met someone online, since he moved he has cut contact with his dd now 13 and pays no child maintenance.

He rang the child maintenance a year ago as they had sent letters to his parents address and informed them that he had moved abroad and was unemployed, they couldn't claim anything for dd anymore and he had no more contact with her she is distraught as she feels abandoned.

Back story he was not involved much with dd and I was the parent that worked and provided but he had gone to be with a woman and told me and dd that he was going to work abroad and see dd, she feels like she has had a death of a parent as he just stopped contact as soon as he moved, she has emotional problems and does not understand!

I doubt I can chase him for any child maintenance, but I'm struggling right now as he blackmailed me at the time to take Bill's into my name or he would not see dd and make things hard. I am slowly paying back debts but I'm so angry as I'm in debt have no way to contact him for child maintenance and he didn't seem to be this way until he left. I'm struggling and daughter is angry to me sometimes as she cannot understand!!!

I have been to the doctors since with severe depression and my dd keeps me going but I cant say that I'm ok, can anyone advise?

I should maybe add that I was working but had to cut hours due to shared childcare and found it different to find work in school hours then covid hit, its been hard but I know many others are struggling and of course my heart goes out to them.

I'm angry that I have no way to know since he had gone abroad wether he is now employed (,I'd think so as the new woman has children) and as he had moved they stopped the claim even if he had moved back to England.

My dd is 13 and I may have to accept that we are struggling financially but I have to cope.....

Depends which country he is working in and whether they have a reciprocal arrangement with the UK

Thanks its Germany but he refused to provide address and since he had contacted cms a year ago when he moved there as unemployed they had checked and confirmed and closed cms case completely....

Should add address unknown to me but cms checked at time and closed case as unemployed and abroad at the time

Should say he probably gave address to cms but they told me he was abroad and unemployed do case was closed...

Contact REMO

I know have tried with remo but not enough information has been two years, and they have not been able to help... cms needs sorting on so many levels. He could well be employed now and uncontactable, how is this in any way fair?

I think I just have to let it go, but it makes me so angry!!

I will just forget it, I’m cancelling mine. Sometimes it just isn’t worth it

Will should be would*

Sorry happycat, it's so frustrating, I do feel for you

Yes, there isnt enough time and energy to chase it and it's really better to not tie myself in knots over it... I've just seen the effect its had on my dd and other friends kids whose parents are not around at all. Its life I know, but ultimately it's the children that suffer

What a absolute monster he is treating his poor daughter like this. I would pursue every Avenue going to make him pay.

Have you spoken to his parents? Are they aware of his behaviour? I would be mortified if my DS behaved in this way, and would put a lot of pressure on him to pay up, and help you in any way I could myself. Your poor DD.

Hi OP, I had one of these - I spent a lot of anger and energy hating him and railing about the unfairness of it, especially when he was on a huge salary, married and had two further children. I never received a penny from him and he hasn't seen DD or had any contact since she was six (she will be 24 this year). Let it go but in your own time.

I've kept in contact with his mother, who understandably has divided loyalties and I know she thinks he's treated us badly. In the end we are happy and don't have the complications of whether he'll be around, because we know for sure that he won't be.