Divorcing

[Cherryplum88]

Hi all.
Am 34 and just divorced.
I was in an unhappy marriage... husband said he'd change and then I got pregnant.
He left me 10 weeks in for another woman.
He's now got her pregnant and she's got 2 children already.
I've always allowed him to see my son, but he's made out as if I'm a cow because I set some ground rules with him... too right after I felt I couldn't trust a word he said. I wanted stability for my baby.

It's been really really hard and just horrific to be honest. My whole life was turned upside down during my first pregnancy.

Has anyone else been divorced with kids?
Does it get better?

I see him to hand my son over and that's it but it's crap seeing him!!!

Feel like all my confidence has gone, feel like a failure etc.

:( :(

I haven't been divorced but I ditched the father to my kids and yes life got so much better.

Maybe it's time to start the ball rolling to untether yourself from this individual.

We are already split...
He left me 10 weeks into my pregnancy.

I promise you, it does get better. I get on really well with my ex now, we put the kids first so no grudges/ we're kind to each other, and the kids are really happy about having 2 houses/ 2 christmases etc

My life is better, I get child free days and then I really enjoy the kids /have loads of energy for them when they come home

When my Dm And df divorced my dad never bothered with me again, didn't see or care, so the number one priority for me was that the kids have a great relationship with their dad and there would never be any source of pain for them in our future relationship- I literally never got married as I didn't want drama from my mum / dad

Thank you I really hope so.
I'd love to think I could get on with my ex but what he's done is totally shocking.

Honestly you just need to put his behaviour as a partner out of your mind and start a fresh co parenting.

All the way through separating (we had to cohabit for 18months) I would just tell myself he is acting this way because he is hurt etc and became clinical/ business like to enable me to communicate effectively as co parents.

It really worked, he is one of my best friends now, I've forgiven his behaviour and don't hold anything against him. It's really benefitted the kids

That's really good.
I have tried to do that too. Just be business like.
I'm always polite to him etc.
I wish for peace.

I divorced in 2013, split up in 2011. We were amicable, no name calling each other. He was an alcoholic but I didn't prevent him from seeing his kids...I trusted he didn't drink in front of them as they were 6 and 2 when we split...he died of liver failure but the older they get the easier the parenting becomes because they become independent in their own way...but my situation is a little different since I have a teenager who is rebellious but at the same time, she is independent and just have to deal with the youngest one now...so I don't have to raise them as much.