Hi All, please can you tell me your experiences with mediation. I am considering this route as my sons dad and I are not agreeing on certain things and his emotions start to come into play when ever I try and talk about our sons upbringing.
We have been split up for 2 years now, I work full time, as does his dad (self employed) however, over the course of the last 2 years he's been very adamant that he wont have our son (who is 7 years old) any time outside of every other weekend. During half terms, the summer holidays etc I use up some of my work holiday allowance to have time with my son, or i'll book him to go to some sports club or he will be at my parents however, his dad wont book any time off or have him any extra days to spend quality time with him.
His answer is always - "your a mum, you shouldn't be working, you cant expect me to book time off because I need to work. Why should I book time off just so you can work as normal". He usually has him on Tuesday evenings and takes him football training and then drops him to school the next day but as has moved recently and has told me he wont be able to have him over night any more as its too far from his school to drop him off (google maps say 23 min door to door!!!!!!)
Every year he has booked himself a lads ski trip for a week, or a long bike weekend away and it makes me upset he can do that but wont book time off in the holidays to spend father and son time with him. Instead, I'm the one trying to manage working full time, child care, school clubs (which he doesn't contribute too as he says I shouldn't be working) etc...
To top this off, my sons dad has a daughter who he also has every other weekend. She is 12 years old but has autism and ADHD which can be hard to deal with at times. Recently, my son has said that he doesnt want to go to his Dads if his sister is there becuase she keeps screaming, or arguing, or it gets heated and this leaves archie wanting to come home as the atmopshere can become quite toxic. So in a sense, it would also be nice for his dad to spend time with his son on a one to one basis instead of at the same time as his daughter.
Does anyone agree... i dont know what to do or suggest anymore as it always gets into an argument and I am done with heated conversations now.
I am just worried I am hoping for a perfect outcome from mediation and it wontt go this way - if you have any advise or stories from your mediation process of a similar situation i will be so thankful