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Where to pitch my stance?

1 reply

PartTimeFeminist · 21/03/2021 11:05

During lockdown everything has been rubbish. It’s affected us all in different, difficult ways.

My son lives with my ex Mon-Fri.
They were ‘doing’ distance learning ‘together’.
I felt this was to a very poor standard and he needed some help.
I tried to give this remotely.
He didn’t like the extra adult pushing him.
My ex backed him up.
They recovered it for a bit and then it slipped again.

Through that, my ex stopped communicating with me.
My son then also stopped communicating with me.

I’m currently told that I can see him if I come pick him up and take him back again but that he’ll stop communicating with me again if I tell him off or talk about school work with him.

This doesn’t seem right. It seems/feels like I’m being allowed to parent if I do it all on my their terms. It looks like I’m being allowed to be a baby sitter but not a parent.

What do people think?
Something nags at me telling me that he shouldn’t suffer not having a parent and I shouldn’t allow any stubbornness on my part to make that happen, but I also need to be able to be his parent without having such restrictions put on me.

Yes there are far far more details to this story that I can provide if you want them, but those are the basics for this scenario.

OP posts:
Itlod1982 · 22/03/2021 17:16

What age is your DS? I think that would be a jig factor here in terms of how much he should have a say.....

Also, from the point of view of a mum who had my DD mon-fri and was left with the sole responsibility of home schooling throughout the entire lockdown while working full time, I don't think I would've accepted criticism from my exH well at all. I was doing my best but harder than you could possibly imagine til you're in the position of holding down a demanding, stressful job full time, while also home schooling on your own for the full week!

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