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Original poster

Exp and My DS.

16 replies

Jiggygoo · 21/03/2021 10:02

There is a non molestation in place, 9 months of him saying its not true etc when it goes to court his barrister asks ME if i will accept it as the non molestation and 6 months added on top for undertakings. I agreed as my barrister said everything that has happened since it will be better when it's brought up at a later day with this evidence too.

He now saying he wants a CAO. I told my barrister its impossible for him to the DS dad as I did not have consensual sex at the at the time of conception(made statement to police, not enough evidence to charge him). He is extremely abusive, he left his job as I relieved information that he was abusing his position at work/wanting to take photos of them(vulnerable adults all non verbal)

I am worried sick, he does not work, will he be able to take me to court for free? I am seriously on the edge of breaking down. I'm on a lot of medication for my anxiety.

He is not on the BC, DS has my last name.

OP posts:
Cabinfever10 · 21/03/2021 10:09

He will be able to get a court ordered DNA test. However if as you say he is not the father he won't be able to go for parental rights and I very much doubt that he would be able to even apply for contact (assuming that your in the UK).

Original poster
Jiggygoo · 21/03/2021 10:15

@Cabinfever10 it's impossible for him to be the dad unless he's raped me. He told the police he might of had consensual sex with me on one of the daysConfused

OP posts:
Cabinfever10 · 21/03/2021 10:55

I'm sorry you've confused me is he the father or not?

missbipolar · 21/03/2021 11:08

If he raped you it's still possible for him to be the dad? That parts DNA which unfortunately doesn't change with consent

Mintjulia · 21/03/2021 11:14

If he isn't the father then he won't get access.

If he is, then he probably will. I'm not sure why you have raised the issue of consent.

The point is that your child has a right to a relationship with both her parents if at all possible. It is her right, not his.

Mintjulia · 21/03/2021 11:15
  • his parents
VinterKvinna · 21/03/2021 11:18

Is he the child's father or not.

Its confusing the way you have written the post.

Original poster
Jiggygoo · 21/03/2021 11:30

@missbipolar yes it could be possible

@Mintjulia because if he is the dad, he has raped me. My child will be effected by this if he is.

OP posts:
Mintjulia · 21/03/2021 11:35

But unless your ex has been found guilty of rape in a court of law, ie unless you can prove it happened, how your child was conceived won't make a difference to any decision taken on access. Have you reported a history of dv?

The family court has to act on the evidence available to them.

Theunamedcat · 21/03/2021 11:37

I disagree that a child who is the product of rape should have a relationship with there father it disgusts me thst the law allows this sadly I think the law does allow this even when they are convicted thinking back to the Rotherham case? One of the underage girls had a child her social worker approached the father and asked if he wanted contact with the child hevwas behind bars for raping this child's mother at the time

timeisnotaline · 21/03/2021 11:47

So your saying he raped you but don’t have the evidence to lay charges. He’s saying he’s the dad... and you think this is an admission of rape? I’m sorry this happened to you. I don’t quite understand the point here. I believe you, but there being a child conceived in the rape doesn’t prove it was rape. And it also doesn’t mean you can declare them not the father, a man is legally the father even when it’s rape. I’d agree that rape should mean they don’t get parental rights but unfortunately it doesn’t work that way.

MrsBertBibby · 21/03/2021 11:52

Is there someone else who could be the Dad? Sorry but your post isn't clear.

Original poster
Jiggygoo · 21/03/2021 11:56

@Mintjulia yes I have DV worker, I left him when I was pregnant and HV said SS no contact if is the dad due to the abuse/multiple rapes. I do have text evidence of him admitted to sexually assaulting me. Still not enough evidence. I was heartbroken

OP posts:
Mintjulia · 21/03/2021 13:36

Let's hope that his demand for an access order is simply him proving he can still interfere in your lives. And that SS are switched on enough to insist on supervised access (if at all) so you know your ds will be safe.

Once the reality of childcare, nappies, etc hit home, he may decide being anything other than an absentee dad, isn't for him.

Don't let him upset you before it has happened x Flowers

Lizadork · 21/03/2021 16:05

I am sorry but it sounds like exp is the father as you haven't clearly mentioned another man. I think you are saying child was conceived during rape from exp and that he has denied it (or not enough evidence). Unfortunately if that is the case then he can get a DNA test and it doesn't prove rape (though happened). It may not feel fair at all but unfortunately way the system is. That if he is the biological father he can push to be the legal father too. That doesn't mean he will get contact if deemed a risk and likely social services/courts etc will want to assess the risks.

SandyY2K · 25/03/2021 23:15

Im assuming there must be someone else you think might be the dad?

Are you saying he might have had none consexual sex that you were unaware of?

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