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Lone parents

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Original poster

Dating as single parent?

13 replies

Mummybunny2000 · 06/03/2021 20:39

I’m a young mum and not with DS father, but of course I still hope to find someone to be with some time in the future ( no rush just think about it sometimes). How hard is it? Do you tend to go towards other singe parents or not fussed? I know DS is my main focus but once he’s older of course I would think of meeting someone new.. where do you meet people ?!Hmm

OP posts:
Happycat1212 · 06/03/2021 22:05

I would say most people meet online that are single parents, how old is your child? I have 4 children so there is no hope for me meeting anyone 😂

Original poster
Mummybunny2000 · 06/03/2021 23:14

@Happycat1212 he’s 3 months and I’m 20. So won’t be fussed till he’s a lot older but if it happens it happens. True! Oh don’t say that, I’m sure you will.. it’s always when you least expect it too. Grin

OP posts:
2ndtimemum2 · 07/03/2021 01:17

I never had a problem dating when I was a single parent to my first child. I dated both single fathers and meb without kids, maybe once I went on a date where the guy had a problem with me having a child but other than that men don't seem put off by it!

Dating in your 20s with a child is no biggie. Now I'm in my 30s and 2 kids in tow and am.so scared of dating that I can't see myself having or wanting
a relationship in the near future.

Original poster
Mummybunny2000 · 07/03/2021 05:17

@2ndtimemum2 oh okay! That’s good that you went for it and they weren’t fussed (not that they should be). Think my biggest issue would be ex partner causing a fuss about it Hmm

If you are happy not to then great, but if it’s because you’re scared I can understand that it’s scary. You get comfortable and kids are your world. I already forgot what life was like before DS and prefer it this way Grin

It’s soooo hard getting to know people all over againConfused

OP posts:
Dtoilel · 07/03/2021 05:24

Your life is over. You're 20 with a child.

FFs, don't worry. You're so young. I was 27 when I had dd. Your dc will be half reared. If your Mum will babysit for a night or two that would be great. It's hard being a single mum no matter what age, but God, you're so very young. It's all ahead of you. A whole life.

Original poster
Mummybunny2000 · 07/03/2021 17:41

@Dtoilel i was saying in the future.. just wondering what other people’s experiences were like. My life’s just begun ..having my son was the best thing ever !! Just know that once he’s grown up and has his own life it would be nice Halo. I’m talking way into the future. Just a curious post really

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whatwouldjudydo · 08/03/2021 17:43

Well I have four children and have managed to date and now settled with a really lovely guy! He also has children. I too thought 4 kids no one would be remotely interested and I won't lie some guys were put off - I did OLD and was upfront from the start about having children once we initially started chatting so as not to waste anyone's time and not get invested in someone for that to come up further down the line. I am sure it would work out for you I know lots of single parents that have remarried.

KarmaNoMore · 17/03/2021 22:31

I preferred to date dads as they could understand much better that as a lone parent I would have some limitations both in terms of disposable income to go out, free time and childcare.

I didn’t become a single parent until I was in my late thirties BUT I was in university when my child was born. Simply put, people in their twenties were still in the prime of their going out phase, so although they always invited me to join them, I hardly ever could as I had to go home soon to take care of DS so I would suggest that if you start dating, try to focus on men who have children or those who come from tightly knit families. They will understand your limited availability and would be in a good position to relate to your child too.

Original poster
Mummybunny2000 · 18/03/2021 05:46

@whatwouldjudydo I’m so glad! Like you said.. as long as you tell them then they have a choice from the get go. Thank you

@KarmaNoMore this makes sense, they are more relatable and also think it’s best to go for someone older as they’re not bothered by going out etc. As I’m deffo not, for dinner yes clubbing no lol. I’m sure I’ll get back to that when DS is in his teens Grin. DS father is a very jealous difficult person so it worries me.. kind of hoping he meets someone first to avoid being harassed Blush

OP posts:
Itlod1982 · 18/03/2021 12:31

When I was first single I was so scared of what any potential dates would think about me having a DC.....turned out to be a complete non-issue for the vast majority!

I should probably say my situation is a bit different from yours as I'm 38 so a lot of guys my age have kids and even if they don't, they tend to be used to be dating people who do.

Over the years I've dated men with & without kids. Some people say it takes another parent to really 'get it' when you say your DC will always be your priority but I think that's a bit patronising tbh. Having said that, I'm now more interested in a long term relationship than 'just dating' and my preference would be to meet a man with his own children. The reason being is that I'm now at a stage in my life where I'm unlikely to have more DC's of my own so it wouldn't be fair to a potential partner who wanted his own children (and I'd be a bit wary of having a DP in my DDs life if he didn't want DCs himself)....

In terms of your ex it's none of his business unless these men are going to be part of your DCs lives. In the 5 years I've been dating only one man has met my DD and that was after 9 months, even at that he came out for dinner with us 3-4 times rather than 'being part of her life' straight away, e.g. he never stayed over when DD was with me etc.

As long as you're not jumping straight in and having a load of different guys in your DC's live, he shouldn't have a say!

Original poster
Mummybunny2000 · 19/03/2021 18:09

@Itlod1982 thank you! All very true and I’d never jump into anything. I’m glad you got out there again, i agree with that if you don’t plan on having more DC! And true ex partner shouldn’t get a say.. he thinks he rules my life Blush

OP posts:
itsDave · 20/03/2021 23:50

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milfmummy · 03/06/2021 19:14

You know what, im on the same boat but im 24!! I often think about this too haha. But always put your child first. If a man states hes not happy with your situation, just up and leave! Plenty more fish in the sea. Thats what i plan to do haha! Were both sooo young and its true we have our whole life ahead of us. Your child will always be that gift we never knew we needed! Definitely get your family to babysit every now and again so you can have your social life back! Life doesnt need to stop because of children! Unconditional love always!Star

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