I've been a lone parent since my youngest child, DD3 was only 3 months old. Her 3 siblings are young adults and living with me. Ever since I can remember, DD3 has always gotten into trouble for speaking her mind and being a bit judgmental. I gradually realised that it's the influence of her two big sisters, although to be fair, they're always explaining what's wrong and right and how to be a better kinder person etc. She had problems in primary school, she felt excluded and bullied due to her weight issues.
At the start of her Year 7, I'd start her on a healthy low fat eating regime but since the 1st lockdown and remote learning, she's lost interest and the diet went down the pan. She lost interest in her school work, had a good parent's evening report but there were concerns that she hadn't submitted all her work. She would log on to do her homework but then have about 3-4 other tabs open watching YouTube and tiktok (hate these apps with a passion!)
She constantly finds herself in other people's disputes (online and off) and gets into trouble. I've lost count of the number of detentions she's been issued but the last straw was recently when she was put into isolation / exclusion due to an abuse of the email system and imnappriate language.
We are fed up with constantly explaining and talking to her, she listens for a day or two then back to naughty behaviour, insolence, attitude and answering back. She refuses to do her chores or keep her room tidy. She's incredibly disorganised and always faffing around every morning before school. We live within 10 minutes walking distance. She has everything she needs, not wants, and that is a mobile. I've been dead set against one because I know she cannot be trusted with one.
We've had to put her on probation (at home) during this February half term which meant no TV and no laptop to play on. She stayed in her room, read and slept. After that , we had the incident with the isolation which happened yesterday.
My other children are very reluctant to celebrate her 12th birthday coming up in 2 weeks time. They all pitied her while she was on probation and wanted to make things better for her but then she turned around and misbehaved. Our hearts aren't into a birthday celebration but I feel very bad as a mum and will do what I can to kerp it simple. Truth is she doesn't deserve a huge fuss.
I've spoken to the school and they'll arrange pastoral care for her. What can I do apart from talking to her as that's not working.
Thank you for reading.