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Original poster

Non-CSA maintenance payments query

8 replies

Tinkerbeth · 28/02/2021 18:02

Myself and my ex have a 4 year old DD together who is in reception, we are fairly civil and good at co-parenting. We have a maintenance agreed between us and it's never really been an issue.

However when he dropped DD home today, I mentioned about how I'd message him tonight about having her over Easter holidays. He said okay but will I pay less for that month. I asked what he meant and he said well as I'd be having the time off I won't be earning anything (he's classed as self-employed and contracted to the company he works for so doesn't get paid if he doesn't work).
I said I get that but I thought normally people tend to pay the same maintenance, plus I can't sort all the days holiday myself. He got a little huffy so I just said don't worry leave it I'll sort it. And then he left.

I'm just wondering what the normally happens in this situation. We've never had to deal with holidays as she went to nursery during them before.
He currently pays £220 each month and has her Tuesday nights for 3 hrs or so after school, then one weekend has her one overnight and then the next weekend he has her two overnights...

He has since messaged to say what would I expect him to be taking off in the 6week holidays and I basically said I hadn't thought that far ahead and for him to let me know what he could do, as I can't use all my holiday.
I also said in terms of Easter if he could just do a couple of days that would be good. He has said he understands and wants to.do his share but if he isn't working he isn't earning...

Any advice would be really appreciated. Thanks!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Tinkerbeth · 28/02/2021 18:30

Obviously I meant CMA 😂🤦‍♀️

OP posts:
UhtredRagnarson · 28/02/2021 18:35

So will he be happy to top up your income for the extra unpaid days off you have to take when your DD is sick and he can’t look after her? Because that is essentially what he is asking to become the rule. I.e; if looking after the child results in a loss of income then the other parent has to absorb that cost. So ask him if that’s what he wants to make a rule.

titchy · 28/02/2021 18:36

CMA will calculate based on how many overnights he has a year, then averaged out to a monthly amount. It doesn't get adjusted up or down if he has her for more, or fewer days as long as the yearly total remains the same.

UhtredRagnarson · 28/02/2021 18:38

Btw in terms of Easter/summer holidays. You need to make it clear now that he needs to be planning these holidays and his work schedule from as soon as he gets the school Calendar in September. It’s too late to get to Easter and “see what he can do” because the childcare clubs are already filled up and you’re left with either no childcare or having to use unpaid leave when all your A/L is used up.

I am self employed and I plan my non working weeks in September to coincide with my DCs school holiday. Yes that means I don’t earn anything those weeks so I make sure I am putting enough aside from my working weeks to enable me to feed my children on those weeks. I don’t get to decide I’m not going to feed them.

WellIWasInTheNeighbourhoo · 28/02/2021 18:56

Looks like he pays you about £7/day as his contribution to her care. I imagine that would cover food and not much else. You could suggest he deducts his £7/day for her, but also he must provide all her toys, clothes, shoes & toiletries etc while she is with him. Or tell him you want to move to 50/50 care, so no maintenance, 2 weeks with each of you a month and all holidays shared 50% too. For £220/month, you'd be better off in the long run. School kids get 13 weeks a year holiday and holiday clubs are expensive about £150/week. If you had to pay that for 13 weeks would eat up most of his annual maintenance just for that. Time for him to get a reality check.

unicornsarereal72 · 28/02/2021 20:25

CMS is worked out on his annual income. 12% for one child on a sliding scale depending upon the number of Over nights.

I would do as other suggested I would get the school calendar out and make. Suggestion of what weeks of the school holidays need sorting and ask him what he proposes. He doesn't have to not work. He can use child care like hundreds of other working parents.

Get the weeks agreed then you can plan and organise the childcare you need.

uhtredsonofuhtred1 · 28/02/2021 20:33

If you think his job and wages are above board and declared properly I would probably just make a claim through the CMS. My ex wouldn't dream of taking money off if he's had them for the week or a couple of weeks over summer, and he's hardly mr perfect!

Original poster
Tinkerbeth · 28/02/2021 22:21

Thanks everyone for the responses.
I messaged him reminding him it is similar to when I take unpaid leave when DD is unwell / when I've taken last minute time off during the pandemic as working with her there has been too hard (think he forgets that element sometimes). Then told him that he pays me £7 roughly a day so if he had her two nights during school hols he could reduce maintenance by £14.
His response... That's fine, let me know the dates.
I'm gonna have a look this week and sort out the Mays and then summer hols.

I am tempted to go through official channels to sort this but with him being self employed I just worry it'll cause issues and stuff 😫.

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