I am preparing to leave my partner. We have 2 children under 7 and I am currently working part-time, looking to increase to almost FT to support us. I plan on selling the family home and buying a smaller home for myself and DCs. Their father is mostly hands-on and we will have a rough split of 4/3 but they will only stay with him over night 1-2 nights per week. We have loosely agreed this arrangement.
I am however troubled as to how I will manage working more, whilst being a single mum with an autoimmune condition which wipes me out every 2-3 weeks for 2 days? I become bed bound during this time. I also fatigue easily inbetween these times.
I have been very unhappy for a long time and my partner is a huge cause of stress for me as he's passive aggressive, stubborn and very cold and insensitive. I'm not sure if I'm naive to hope that on separation, I'll feel better in terms of health and manage fine on my own?
Or is being a single parent going to completely drain me? I don't have family around me to help when my health dips so I would have to call on my ex and I'm not sure whether I really want to have to rely on him, he appears to already resent me when my health flares inconvenience him.
Also, one of my children is extremely extrovert- loud and outgoing, overly chatty, definitely borderline ADHD. I am often absolutely drained when I am caring for her for long periods and when I can feel myself declining as a result of her high energy, I become highly anxious and snappy. I manage to be a fairly good Mum as it stands, with lots of experiences for the children, plenty of exercise. But this is with another parent on hand to help with the practicalities.
I'm worried I'll be a rubbish, washed out Mum on my own. Or will leaving him give me more energy for it?
Any advice?