Scared to do this alone

[Ilovewatermelon]

Hi there,

I have a 3 year old and am also pregnant.
Their dad is a complete narcarsist and has turned lazy and financially unstable these past several months.

I had been planning to leave before I fell pregnant and then when I did I had booked a termination as I was so adamant I had to leave the situation.

Leaving though proved almost impossible as I was only offered emergency accommodation miles away from all my support and DS nursery and I would have had to give up my beloved dog too, all this on top of a termination left me at breaking point.. After a lot of false promises from my partner I stayed.

Now fully committed to having my baby I was actually planning on moving to a bigger house with him but yet again he has let me down and is currently out and drinking round someone's house.

I know I need to leave but I'm so scared of doing this alone and also scared of feeling like I have no other options like last time and back tracking.

I guess I would like some support from people who may have been in similar situations and to know i'll be OK and to stop me staying in a relationship I know is doomed.

I'm so scared of going through the baby stage on my own and not having anyone to share it with and will my kids hate me for leaving, that's what my partner blames his bad behavior on and he doesn't treat his mum well and I'm terrified my son will use this like he does too.

Just feel lost atm

TIA x

It's far, far better for your children to leave now.

They'll be damaged beyond repair if you stay with this man. I'm sorry that sounds harsh but it's true.

The dog...can anyone temporarily care for him while you're in temp accommodation?

If you apply again for housing and leave, you may be luckier with where it is....what support have you currently got in the area?

you might find that without the stress of a knob head partner, you'll love it. It will be a different stress obviously but not having to deal with knobhead will be better. Better for the kids too as on your time, you can have a happy secure home.

My stbxh moved out in July, I had our second child 6 weeks ago and our eldest is 5. He has not been overly involved other than popping in and holding her for an hour a couple of times a week. He wants to take her to have unsupervised contact but I won't allow him to, due to breastfeeding and also I'm just not comfortable with it.

It is completely doable. Its hard at times, more so because of lockdown, but I have my mum popping round regularly to help me out, even just holding the baby to let me do housework is a godsend. Do you have family support??

You got this, you know what's coming and try to be as organised as possible. I've found its less stressful this time around as there's no resentment of him not pulling his weight, no snoring,no mess.

What involvement do you think he will want? My stbxh wants 50 50 contact but he is doing poorly on the overnights he has our eldest, so I'm resisting this for now.

Good luck, just think about the relief you will feel being away from him.