Tell me it gets better please

[WingingItAtLife]

Okay so I know things aren't normal right now with covid etc

But, I left my ex in November. He was emotionally abusive and narcissistic. He sees the kids every other weekend.
Me and the kids ahve recently moved into our own rented place after spending almost 3 months living in my parents spare room because ex refused to move out.
He's being the typical Disneyland dad. McDonald's, late nights, no rules, horse riding at his gf farm etc. Then the kids come back to me hyped up, and exhausted and their behaviour is awful. Tantrums form the 7 year old, crying, shouting, telling me I'm rubbish and daddy is more fun etc. The 4 year old isn't too bad
7 year old had her first day back at school today and since she's been home she's shouting and screaming at me and her little brother over the littlest of things. Everything I do is wrong. Everything he does is wrong.

Its got to get better hasn't it?! If this is single Parenthood I'm not cut out for it 😭😭

I think deep down I know it'll get better once we're properly in a routine but then every two weeks the routine goes out the window at their dads anyway

This is scarily similar to my position! I also left my abusive ex in November and have a 7 and 4 year old lol! Experiencing all the same things that you have explained...my 7 year old can be really hard work. I think it's a tough age to live through separation to be honest...they're old enough to understand that mummy left daddy, adults fall out of love sometimes, but they're not old enough to fully process it I suppose. It's hard though and I'm sending you a huge hug.....and a double gin!

The problems you are experiencing are not to do with being single parents but to do with the kind of men with whom you're attempting to coparent.

My ds no longer sees his dad. He used to see him for 2 hours a fortnight if it suited him.but I found the same . I needed to give him time to readjust.. so go to the park. Put on movie and popcorn.

They are testing boundaries but need the security of them.

Its tough

Thank you ❤️ all of you.

I was having a really bad day when I posted this. Things have been better since with regards to me and the children. Both children's behaviour has been better and we've had a lovely day today. We explored the area we've recently moved to and found a great child friendly walk. Both children have gone to bed happy too 😊

I just hate that he will undo all of my hard work every time they go there. Its not fair on anyone, including the children.

It does get better.
What I have learnt is, you need to have a thick skin where your children are concerned, they can be utterly innocently hurtful.