Single parent, only child, almost 18

[turquoiseyucca]

Aka: My baby is going to leave me!

I'm wondering if there is anyone else in a similar situation to chat with about this next stage in single parenthood?

I've been a single parent (and a single person more or less) since dd was a baby. The last 18 years of my life have been all about her. I know it's the same for all parents but I think it being just the two of us has intensified that a bit, I probably didn't even realise this until friends pointed it out last summer. Don't get me wrong I've built a career and a life (I was young when she was born), I have friends and interests but ultimately any decision I've made, big or small, has been with her at the centre.

And now she's almost 18, in not much over a year she'll be packing her bags and off to university. I'm so happy to see it, I wouldn't want it any other way. Children are supposed to grow up. But it's going to be weird!

I'm curious, excited in a way even, to see how I will deal with it. I'm nervous too though, because what if the answer is not very well. I might even more nervous about how I will be without her than about how she will be on her own - I think she'll be great! I feel like I need to start making preparations and plans for my life will be like, is that weird?

I don't think that's weird at all. Mine is only 11 and I'm already having these thoughts. We are so close and a little team. I worry that I'm emotionally dependent on her.
Having said that the teenage years might change my opinion!
I think the best way will be to have projects in mind that are just for you, be it moving house to travel.
I wish you all the best.

How about getting a low maintenance pet as a companion or even consider a dog or a cat? Plants indoors herbs on the win Dow sill and flowers. Start a new hobby or pick up an old one. Meet up groups or f volunteer work subject to time energy and money. Good luck anyway.

I am a single parent of a 15 year old DS and worry about this, I know exactly what you mean. Everything I've done since he was born (his Dad died soon after) has been for his best interests, including moving north to be near family, and away from my own friends. Now he's 15 and not at the stage your DD is at, yet, but he has this year started going out with friends and staying out till 7 or 8pm, lockdown allowing. I've really noticed the sense of being alone, and wanting to start joining more groups with meet ups in preparation for when he leaves home altogether. I'm going to join walking, rambling, running groups of I can and a photography group for days out- to meet people and be out and about with others. It's hard not to be too apprehensive but to try focusing on it as a new stage of opportunity in my life.

My DD is 16 and I worry when she'll leave for uni, but she will always be my baby, I will still escort her on her open day, keep in contact with her, but I know she wouldn't want me to call her, she is tasting freedom from home, but I know she will miss home and maybe come during holidays or weekends and maybe we could do mother daughter bonding, ask her about her friends, uni life over coffee...it's the next phase of her life, I never went to uni so it will be exciting to hear about her life at uni as I never experienced it.

So don't think she will abandon you, she's going to need you all her life, with marriage, babies, etc.