Single mum- advice needed.

[Psg1992]

Hey. Does anyone sometimes get the feeling that they’re just not enough? I’ve been really struggling the last few days. My LG is nearly one and she is the most amazing human I’ve ever met. Deep down I know that we have the most amazing relationship. But as a single mum, I often wonder if I’m enough for her. After a lot of mental abuse, i chose to end it with her dad. Even though, I know for me this was 110% the right decision, I can’t help but feel guilty in case I’m not enough for her and it’s my fault that she isn’t in a family environment. Everyone comments saying that she’s the smiliest baby they’ve ever met and she genuinely doesn’t want for anything, but I just feel what if she needs more. I hope it’s the way that I’m feeling atm and that this will clear.

Hi op there was a very similar question posted earlier that I answered, I. Going to copy and paste my anser and I hope it gives you some reassurance

Hi op just want to give you a bit of reassurance because I felt exactly the same way when i found myself single when pregnant. I was terrified that my child would be at a disadvantage that they would grow up to have daddy issues that they would resent me for being a single mum it used to keep.me up at night.

So I went to a counsellor who specialises in child behavior and she told that actually having one "present" dedicated parent is actually more beneficial than having 2 mediocre parents. So what she meant by mediocre is that when a parent is unhappy in a relationship theyre struggling with their emotions so this makes parenting that more difficult because they're juggling their sadness(and hiding it) with having to parent and deal with the other parent and trying to protect the child from the negative consequences of the other parent whereas as a single parent away from a bad situation your priority becomes the child and their wellbeing and your relationship with them.

This made so much sense to me because I found i was constantly trying to keep the peace with my ex and it took so much energy to try keep him happy and maintaining an unhappy relationship, now I focus that energy on loving my child. I hope this brings you some comfort

Hi OP. Single mum here too- DD is 13 months

Dad hasn’t been involved but apparently now interested- not going into that here as I have my own thread about it.

My family have cut me off (because I’m a sex worker) so it’s just me and DD. Fortunately I have an amazing best friend and 2 other friends who help out when they can. BF is my support bubble at the moment with Covid but it’s difficult as she has her own life and lives 50 minutes away so 90% of the time it’s just me and DD.

I can give her what she needs and I know that is enough. Don’t get me wrong some days it’s fucking hard when your only contact is someone standing at the bottom of your path for 2 minutes because they are dropping off groceries for you but just remember- you are her mum. ❤️