New girlfriend why do I feel like this?

[anon2334]

Ex has new partner I know because my kids told me. I don’t know why I feel like this as he treated me badly and mentally abused me? I knew the day would come. If we were amicable I probably wouldn’t feel like this but he did tell me when he was abusing me that he would get a girlfriend and she would be mummy this was before we split.

I feel so low because he treated me so bad yet is being so wonderful to new girlfriend. I remember when I was the new girlfriend, he used to tell me that he saw his ex and she was so depressed because he got a new girlfriend that was me then. Now I think it’s because he did the same to her but didn’t have kids with her.

I want to feel better and at peace but taking me ages to get over it all.

Think of it as probably a good thing for your dc. If he's abusive and manipulative I'm going to guess hes not the best father either so maybe she'll be a good influence. I speak from a place of experience having been in a near identical situation. My ex always said if I left him then he'd take the kids and find the first person he could to be a stand in mum. Well he did that and I'm glad because I feel a lot more comfortable that she's there. Obviously he didn't 'take the kids' as that's not something he can do.

He is a manipulative father but no when I was with him he called the kids names, he even grabbed one hard. I asked him not to and he turned one me and asked me to never ever tell him what to do. I didn’t I just asked him to be more gentle and it was anything to get angry about at the kids.

I see what you mean and I’m hoping she is nice so that could help. It’s just very new so I guess I don’t know anything yet.

She's probably, as you say, you a few years down the line. She'll have fallen for his charm and no doubt dad of the year act with you being awful and is likely lovely I'm sure. Hopefully he treats her better and and she stick around rather than different women coming in and out of the dc's life. I get what you mean about it being frustrating why he couldn't just have treated you well in the first place but it's probably not particularly helpful to dwell on that. The best thing you can do is focus on what will make you happy in the long term - at the moment he's probably aware of how you feel and getting satisfaction from that. Show him otherwise. I like to kill my ex and his girlfriend, who is perfectly nice although wary of me because god knows what he's told her, with kindness. It no doubt annoys him that im not bothered/jealous.

It's the rejection. You know he will be charming. To get her hooked. And you want that man. You know his mask will slip and he will treat her badly. Like he did you. As others have said be glad she is there to hopefully be a good influence on his parenting. Try not to dwell on it and be glad he isn't your problem anymore.

Thank you yes, it would be better for the children if it worked long term, they don’t need any more changes. Personally I hope so, his track record isn’t good with previous women but he is older and he might have changed. I hope so anyway. Would be nice to be civil and parent well for the little ones despite everything.

I hold no grudge actually, disappointed of course, naturally I wanted everything to be happy families lol but it isn’t always the case and I did what was best for us all as didn’t want that toxic environment.