Farther not wanting to know

[Sunniwendy]

I am finding so hard excepting the fact the farther of my child will not even speak to me my child has been really ill in and ouy of hospital and he changed his number i have had shit off his ex as i needing to know of he was aligic to anything i just find it hard he has three kids with her x

I’m sorry to hear your son is sick but you need to move on! Why would you want a waste of space like this in your child’s life? Or his other half?! I would put in a claim for maintenance if you think it’s worth it and block and move on! He doesn’t deserve to know if his son is in hospital, he doesn’t deserve his son full stop!

OP it’s actually really soul destroying when the father of your child doesn’t want to see them. I had it with my first Dd. I just couldn’t understand why he didn’t want to be present fir my lovely child. You really feel hurt for your child.

You’ve got to steel yourself and plan ahead now. Protect your child and that means cutting out anyone that doesn’t benefit them. No dad is better than a bad dad.

Dig deep. You can be both mum and dad. Many many kids are happy in one parent families. You as his mum show him how amazing life can be

I know you are both right and i am trying to cope with it now i am comeing to terms with it it still hurts but my son is better off with out him x

@Sunniwendy

I know you are both right and i am trying to cope with it now i am comeing to terms with it it still hurts but my son is better off with out him x

He really is. Your mantra should be ‘No dad is better than a bad dad’

Make sure you go for child support. Your son is legally entitled to it.

I think unless you are in this situation it’s really hard to understand, my kids dad doesn’t want to know either (we have 4) and I do find it hard accepting he doesn’t want to know, it’s really hard having kids with someone that doesn’t give a damn about them, I keep wondering why I’m the person who ended up with an ex that didn’t want to know his own kids

Just expect nothing. Don't ask for anything. Claim CMS. And let him know whenever he is ready to step up he is welcome. But until you hear from him you will not contact him further.

It's rubbish. But you will only be painted as the bitter ex. Etc. Don't give them the ammunition. Be strong and dignified.

You’ve got this OP 💚

Thanks so much i know u are right it was so hard i think im over it now my son deserves better x

I have an 18 yr old who has no contact with his father. To make matters worse, his dad has 4 other children with 2 other women and has relationships with them all. 18yr old is the middle child.

It’s been hard, but I have always spoken about father, giving more information when it was age appropriate to do so.

Dc has vague memories of father, ( didn’t meet until he was 3, had regular contact instigated by me til he was 6ish and then once a year til he was 10) has not yet wanted to make contact with him.

It’s been a bit bumpy at times but I think the most important thing for our mother and child relationship is I can demonstrate that I never tried to stop contact, facilitated and paid lots of ££ to make sure contact happened. (Father moved and lived a plane ride away) When he was younger I always said I didn’t want my child to blame me so went above and beyond. I think this really helped in teenage years.

Thats what i was worried about my child blamimg me but i have tried everything i can and will not tey anymore he is better off with out him