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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

Is there love out there for us single mum's??

66 replies

Phoebe25 · 27/10/2004 17:53

Just wondered if anyone had any inspiring stories of finding love regardless of being a mother?
I'm so sick of hearing single mothers described as having 'baggage'. Im a single mum to be (10 days & counting) with own home & good career etc. I do worry though that im resigned to the proverbial shelf for life!!!

Thoughts please....

OP posts:

KateandtheGirls · 28/10/2004 18:18

Phoebe, maybe he likes you...

I hate that expression, "taking on". Maybe he just wants to have a relationship with you. Taking on makes it sounds like he's being a martyr and would rather not have anything to do with you, but is doing it out of the goodness of his heart. I'd like to think there are guys out there who wouldn't run a mile if a woman they liked was pregnant or had children.

WideWebWitch · 28/10/2004 21:11

Yes, I do, haven't read the thread but I was a single mum with a 2yo when I met dp in 2000. We've been together four years, have a nearly 1 yo and are blissfully happy. We met in a pub and he was going to be a one night stand (ds was away) but it didn't work out that way. You do have to go out a bit but I'm so glad I did.

morethanithot · 28/10/2004 22:28

give your persistent guy a chance, you won't know till you try. as with all internet dating tho, be cautious the first few times you meet, and if you decide to make a go of it, try and meet the people in his life like family and friends. they can tell you abt him and without talking can also show what kind of background he's from. i met dp thru the internet, and we now have a ds. at the time i met him, i was in a go nowhere relationship, which i was honest abt, but dp satyed in there as a platonic friend, and here we are today.

subs · 29/10/2004 13:18

to all the mums using i.net dating service - how do you weed out the crazies and what did you write - cant think of anything that doesnt sound, well... crazy.

did you say you had kids, or if you just up for some fun and not a serious rel, is it ok not to mention it.... i guess i quite like the idea of keeping baby and love life seperate -or is that awful?

listmaker · 29/10/2004 13:24

subs - I wouldn't deny having a baby - no point in lying really.

I've only used friends reunited dating and was only on there about 3 weeks til I met my new man! So I'm hardly an expert but I think you can suss out the overly keen/desperate ones quite easily.

Writing my profile was tricky and I felt pretty daft doing it and even harder to say what you want from a man. I kept mine pretty vague and light-hearted.

It's a case of nothing ventured.... It seems quite a common way for us single mums to meet people judging from this thread!

I used to wonder how come other single mums met people really easily and I just never did but I am glad now that none of my earlier attempts worked out. I wasn't ready (not sure I am yet either really) and my dds needed me all to themselves as they were so young (dd2 was 3 months when I split from exp). But now they are both at school and getting more independent every day it's just the right time for me to do something for myself.

subs · 29/10/2004 13:26

point taken

how does the friends reunited website dating work - do you only meet poeple you went to school with - not v up for revisiting teenage years!

childmindersam · 29/10/2004 13:33

with regards internet dating i spent a long time talking to men on the net! It is quite obvious which men are weirdos and which are genuine especially after a while. I spoke to a couple of men for 3 weeks and they both started to get quite fruity so knew they werent the ones! My dh and i spoke for weeks on the net and it was always about each other or family or experiances and dreams for the future. The first time we spoke on the phone he had is dd staying so i heard him interact with her which was good. We spoke at various times of the day and night for a few more weeks and i can say that he wasnt a weirdo. Just keep talking to them and take it slow, a man would have to be VERY good at lying to keep up a pretence for that long!

listmaker · 29/10/2004 13:34

No. If you go to the friends reunited website there is a dating tab. Click on that and away you go! There are loads of men on there - I was amazed. I entered my criteria - age range, area etc and there were pages of them.

It's also much cheaper than others I believe and you only have to join if you want to contact someone.

Have a look at daters' diaries for a laugh too. I am almost as addicted to them as to this site!!

Lasvegas · 29/10/2004 14:12

I split with DH when DD was days old, when I was 33 yrs old. 10 months later had yr long with relationship with someone who was previously a friend. He didn't want to be surrogate dad which was nail in coffin of relationship. In past 3 months have had 7 dates via expensive dating agency/ friends of work colleagues/ man met in bar/ classified add/internet dating site for single parents. The later has the most interesting people as they already have kids so understand about b'sitters etc.

jmg1 · 30/10/2004 15:25

To any single Mums who find it hard to find a partner, try being a single Dad! I have been on my own with three young children for almost two years and it seems to be impossible to get anywhere near having a date let alone a relationship. Do Women assume that as a single Dad you would only want a partner to have someone look after the kids?

Tinker · 30/10/2004 15:27

Am surprised jmg. I thought I was more likely to pair up with someone with kids because at least they'd know the score.

lou33 · 30/10/2004 15:27

Hello jmg!

jmg1 · 30/10/2004 15:45

I don't think many Women look at it like you do Tinker.

Hi Lou, how the f**k are you Darlin!

lou33 · 30/10/2004 15:48

am lovely as ever

been a distinct lack of communication from your house to ours recently though!

lou33 · 30/10/2004 15:51

Tinker, I would have thought the same thing too.

jmg1 · 30/10/2004 15:51

We haven't communicated for about 3 months have we?

lou33 · 30/10/2004 15:52

Give us a bell then

We are off to thailand in a few weeks.

jmg1 · 30/10/2004 15:53

Which part?
Are you all going?

lou33 · 30/10/2004 15:55

yes all of us, going south.

Going for 5 weeks.

blossomhill · 30/10/2004 15:55

Oh I am so jealous lou!

jmg1 · 30/10/2004 15:56

Well have a good time.
Is the School ok about the kids being away on Holiday during Term time?

lou33 · 30/10/2004 15:57

Am actually dreading the flights. Would prefer to go away minus kids.

lou33 · 30/10/2004 15:57

yep they got permission.

Call us for a chat. How's your brood? Dh wants a pint with you.

jmg1 · 30/10/2004 16:02

The kids are fine.
I just don't seem to be meeting anyone its like everyone is too busy with their own life. They say there are 1 in 3 single parents in UK - out of 60 kids in the two classes that two of my sprogs are in there are two single parents and I am one of them!!!
I will give DH a shout and we'll go for a quick shandy soon!

jmg1 · 30/10/2004 16:05

lou I meant I will give 'your' DH a shout!!! if I had a DH it would explain why I don't have a girlfriend wouldn't it!!

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