If you knew you were going to end up being a single parent, how many children would you have?

[chuckb4ss]

Intrigued to know, especially if as a single parent you feel it would have been best to perhaps stick at one?

One or none i grew up with my mum my dads was v abusive but mum was there for my sister and I. I have 4 and doing it alone is tough. Would’ve never wanted that for my kids if I’d had the choice

Yes I would've stuck at one but pleased I didn't know tbh wouldn't be without them now

1. I don't have any yet (and am married). And I would have 1, even if DH and I are married.

It is 1 reason why I want to stop at 1. I am 28 and have been married for 5 years and i guess after browsing the relationship forum, you never know what life can throw at you. And also there are also things outside my control such as bereavement, illness etc. I want to be a mum (can't imagine never being a mum), but I don't want more children that I can deal with on my own.

None!! And I don’t get pp saying doing it alone is easier than with a shit partner YES it is but that is not the alternative is it?! You could just have none then you wouldn’t be a single parent or someone with a shit partner, it’s not one or the other, I hate the way people make out all partners are shit, not everyone’s partner is awful you only read more about the rubbish ones because people don’t tend to post all the great stuff about their great partners do they! Yes if I knew I was gonna be a single parent I wouldn’t have had any children.

I have 4 and quite frankly it is impossible doing it alone with 4, I NEVER get a break ever, because no family or friends will look after 4 children, no one will take 4, one , two? Yes but no one takes 4 and their dad is absent so yes I wouldn’t have had any.

I’d have had none. I’m not enough for them. And I still have nightmares about the day I had to tell my little kids their wonderful dad had died.

None here too. I didn’t picture having to do it all and how relentless it is, as well as the guilt that you’re not quite doing it all as well as you could. They do see their dad, but when you add it up, it’s only for a third of a year and the rest is up to me. I love them dearly and I wish it could have been better for them

None

It not been life that one day they can look back on and say what great childhood they had

It would depend upon what age the children were when I became a single parent and my finances. Family support would also factor in as well.

Financially 1 as I would be a low earner, but for coping alone with the children then 2.

I would have two, however I was a lone parent from day one which is an entirely different situation. I have one right now, if I had remained single I would have persued number two alone.

@Hagotcha80. That’s reason why I choose to be single. My kids would not of had better life had stayed in relationship.

I just wish that circumstances as single parent had been better whereas they had care free childhood and could give them half opportunities children should have.

Suppose can’t be all crap because neither feel hard done by or resentful with chip on shoulder because only have just one parent raising them.

As many as my salary could comfortably afford and also being able to provide the emotional side of things too. So one or possibly two at a push.

Having grown up struggling as a child finance wise etc I’d never want that for mine so have been very sensible with decisions I make knowing the future can change quickly.

Definitely no more than two, definitely not the six I have!

Two. I’m a single mum of two and an only child of a single mother myself. It feels like more of a family unit with two children. I remember being on my own a lot as a child and didn’t want that for mine. Also, coming from a small family I feel better knowing they will have each other when they’re grown up after I’m gone.

Truth? None or single child. Caveat - obv - chose to have mine, love them to bits, fight tigers etc
Not sure whether I am maternally ambivalent though - adore mine, but in a sliding doors scenario - knowing what I know now and the huge self-sacrifice involved - might have been better had I not been a parent. My eldest knows what is involved with her neurodiverse brother and is insistent she is not having any, which makes me feel guilty but relieved for her at the same time. We shall see.

I have 2 and I'm about to become a single parent. I'm just relieved that they have each other.

I wanted to leave after 1, but I stuck around, waiting for things to get better and they did, better enough for me to have another. Subconsciously, I believe I was waiting to have another child before leaving him so that they would have a sibling close in age.

I am an only child, and my mum was a single parent, and we are really, really close, so it'd be nice to recreate that dynamic. OTOH, I don't want to have to decide which of my two children to not have had!

None. I don't think i'm enough of a fully-functioning adult to do it alone.

I have one and a partner but, god forbid anything anything happened...i don't know how I would cope.