Hi all, desperately need help and advice.
After our son was born my soon to be ex husband and myself decided I will go back to work part time (casino industry so working nights). He would pay for bills and mortgage as he had a good job. We even got a second car as he kept saying we were fine. In 2019 I found out he was cheating, and even after trying to forgive it just didn't work out as we both had different opinions on life and our son (i believed in routine especially as I was the only one looking after him) and he believed in whatever happens happens. He wasn't around a lot from the start, played loads of cricket outside the UK or was working.
Now we have been fighting since Jan 2020 trying to get divorced and its just not happening. We still live in the same house, although he goes away to stay with his girlfriend when he can, and myself try to go to my support bubble when I can.
As im on furlough I struggle paying for things, plus also paying lawyer fees. My ex is trying to get money out of me for mortgage that I just dont have. I do my best paying Edf water and gas every month, have food on the table look after the dogs buy things needed and try to keep going during a pandemic with no family around. He is living the dream, going away for skiing shopping at waitross and always buying takeaway, so he is clearly not struggling.
Yet today he told me that he offered to buy me out and give me 50k. Even though our house is valued 575.000.... both our names are on the mortgage, but the house has been bought by his trust. He also said he wants shared custody and I have to work fulltime to be able to pay my own rent/mortgage. What means 3/4 nights a week or find a second daytime job what means my son has to go nursery more often...
So many things going on and I cant handle the mental bullying anymore. Today he told me his girlfriend is hot with a great body and I look like a skeleton. So instead of ignoring him I called him fat as its not the first time he called me names. He also threatened me with voice notes for court of us arguing and me attacking him (I hit him on the arm when he got home drunk at 7am after I phones him the day before being sick with a 2 month old to please come home and help). And said he got footage of loads of men entering our house he will show them (1 of them being a male friend from work who tool me bowling to cheer me up, the other a sensorys husband who works for law)...
I just dont know how to get away without any money and without him getting custody over my son, but he is getting to me to much. And how to move on with living alone with debts because of him if he doesn't give me money 😪.
Any advice would be well appreciated 🙏