Had my worst experience ever as a parent today, and there's no one to share the burden with, sob.

[OverMyDeadBody]

I need a shoulder to cry on

DS had his first proper serious hurt this afternoon, and it was all my fault. I've never heard him cry like that before, I couldn't stop him , was all on my own, and had to struggle the 20min walk home with him sobbing his heart out, blood over his mouth, swapping between carrying him and pulling his bike along and carrying the bike while holding his hand.

I cried when we finally got home and now feel like the worst parent ever for not stopping him from doing what he did

Someone tell me the feelings of guilt and blame will subside eventually!

they will - probably in the morning when you both get up and he feels loads better - and todays fall is just a memory of what not to do again.

sorry to hear he got hurt tho - stuff like that happens - thats all. at least you can sit and tell about it - so is ok.

for you

he'll be fine tomorrow, hope you feel better too!

what did he do?

hope you are okay, dont beat yourself up!
it happens in a split seconds

It wasnt your fault, kids hurt themselves. If he's big enough to ride a bike and this is the first time he's hurt himself badly i think you're doing pretty well! I still remember DD1 at 1.4 yo tripping and cutting her lip on a chair, blood everywhere, i thought she'd knocked her teeth out. Feelings of guilt and blame are part and parcel of being a parent im afraid
[pats back and offers tea and biccy]

Of course you feel sad. I remember the first time ds1 hurt himself. I cried more than he did. i had hot and cold flushes.

It's not your fault. Kids fall. Unless of course, you pushed him....

You always feel awful when your kids are hurt. My legs always go funny...cold and ache and pain that seems to be coming from deep in the bone. It's a really odd feeling and I always say that it's (whatever's happened) made my legs go soft.

He'll be fine and you'll get used to mopping up blood and wiping away tears. You'll always feel sorry for him, of course, but the first time is the worst time.

It wasn't you fault! You have to let boys try things out on their bikes! It might not have seemed so bad if you were closer to home. Poor the both of you.

Thanks all.
Oh yeah forgot to mention what he did, sorry. We went to some ramps in the park, after riding up and down some low ramps he lifted his bike onto a low wall-type thing, and I just absentmindedly watched him as he then rode his bike along it and off the end, only to crash head-first into the ground, as you would . I just didn't think, really really stupid of me, why didn't I stop him? I was right there ffs
I'm at myself too for allowing him to get into that kind of danger.

Singledadofthree you're right, at least I'm here talking about it, could have been much worse.

It was the cry that shook me up the most, never heard him cry in real pain before...

Thanks shitemum [sips tea comfortingly]

hekate my legs went all funny too, everything around me slowed down apart from DS facedown with his bike on top of him and wailing

My DCs's have always hurt themsleves the most when I looking stright at them.

look at it this way - he learnt a valuable lesson about gravity today which he wouldnt have if you'd stopped him. Hope he feels better in the morning, actually you might find he can't wait to go back to the park to perfect his Evil Kneival technique!

MrsLynetteScavo, ok all your posts are making me feel better. I guess it is just part of being a parent, and it will almost definately happen again, he's 4 so lots more daredevil stuff to come.

Although, in between sobs, as we walked away from the ramps, he said "I'm never never doing that again!!"

shitemum right now the thought of going back there makes my legs go wobbly, don't think he'll be going back till I can face it!

see - lots of shoulders. and when he get to school/playschool - that'll be his own 'it was this big (holds out arms) story'.

I'm with Lynette - DS1 once hurt himself really badly (and it could have been much worse) in a way that was totally forseeable, and his dad and I were standing about three inches away watching him, and saying 'he's going to hurt himself in a minute'.

(And no, I'm not telling you what it is or you'll all call social services. Believe, me, it was stupendously neglectful and stupid - MUCH worse than what you did, DeadBody.)

As to the guilt - it's bloody awful at the time, but at least there's a purpose to it - you won't let something like that happen again. And yes, you do get over it eventually.

lol lynette
ikwym...

glad he's okay in the end...and you too! i hope

Ooh yes please hairyirene
[passes glass over to be filled]

It's good to have all your shoulders to cry on! Yeah maybe he'll be bragging about how high it was at school on monday!

I just posted a reply to this on the wrong thread how embarassing.

my pleshure m'dear

and yes, he will!

hic!

I'm getting him this for chiristmas so it won't happen again! [hic]

Just seen this and it might be reassuring to know that my 6 year old ds is still not speaking to me after I wouldn't let him balance on a very wobbly tree trunk over a river with his bonkers Uncle...

I felt bad afterwards 'cos he would have been fine and said Uncle would of course have kept hold of him, but I just couldn't bear to see him near any kind of danger and grabbed onto him and wouldn't let him go on the tree trunk

Ds is very cross with me and I'm sure would much rather have come home having half drowned or something...

The thing is dotty, I think my son is a bit cross with me for suggesting we go to the skate park in the first place... we can't win, us mothers!

Don't worry. These things happen.

The other day, I was in the kitchen with the kids (aged 1 & 2) and ds1 (2) pulled a pyrex bowl off the counter, it smashed and cut his foot twice, once right under his ankle bone (into a huge vein) and further down, towards his toes.
He fled, and by the time i caught up with him, after picking ds2 up from amongst the glass, the lounge carpet was absolutely covered in blood. It looked like something out of a horror movie, I am not exagerrating.
Blood was pumping from his ankle and I rang an ambulance. He was so upset he could hardly breathe.
I rang 999 and we went to a&e.
After numerous examinations and 3 dressings bleeding thru, he had to have an xray to check for glass and I was questioned twice about how it could have happened. It only took, what? A second for the bowl to fall and break?
He now has the most awful purple scar, for life and it is my fault and I beat myself up every time i put his socks etc on and see it.
He still refers to his 'baddie' now and again as if that is not bad enough!
He had nightmares for a week or so afterwards, crying out for me in the night about his 'baddie'.
It breaks my heart that for life he will have this mark because i did not move the bowl far enough back for him not be able to reach it.

Overmy..
Might I first say what an excellent name you have? (still feeling guilty about last night)

I do sympathise - despite the fact that ALL kids are mentalists and end up with bloody faces/knees etc, it's hard when you don't have someone to tell you - really quickly, really emphatically - that it wasn't your fault.

Ladyoftheflowers- sorry you're feeling bad too, but if it makes you feel any better your DS won't mind having the scar when he's older, boys are quite proud of their scars and like showing them off (at least my brothers do)

onebadmotha (don't feel guilty about the other night, I just misinterpretted ...) exactly, it is hard...but then I posted this and lots of people came and told me it wasn't my fault, so that was a minor consolation!