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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Original poster

Dc’s dad unable to see them due to partners kids (civid related).

8 replies

Lovemusic33 · 12/01/2021 08:14

Ex has been with his partner for a few years but only recently moved in with her, she has 2 teens, one lives with her and the other doesn't. I have been concerned throughout covid as the teens keep coming and going, mixing with their girlfriend/boyfriend, disappearing for a week then coming back, girlfriend staying over etc...
During the first lockdown ex stopped seeing the dc for around 3 months due to his partner being vulnerable (she has several health conditions) so my kids could not see their dad, they then started seeing their dad again and his partners kids started coming and going and bringing their partners to the house. Last weekend ex called to say that partners son had gone to his girlfriends, they had a argument and she kicked him out so he was returning to the house, problem being that his gf was waiting for covid test results after being unwell so again my dc’s could not see him.

I feel angry that he is not doing anything about what’s going on and doesn’t seem bothered that he’s not seeing the dc’s. My dc’s are teens, both with ASD and I’m struggling all week to home school so it would be nice if he could have them for one day a week to give me a break.

How’s everyone else managing? Are your dc’s other parent actually seeing them as they should be?

AIBU to be pissed off with the situation?

OP posts:
blackcat86 · 12/01/2021 08:20

I can see why you're pissed off bit their dad is clearly flakey and unreliable so try to separate having a break from DC seeing their dad. Are they under a social work team you could speak to about respite or support? Could you form a support bubble with another household? Don't let your break be reliant on this guy because he is showing you that DC are not a priority for him

Original poster
Lovemusic33 · 12/01/2021 08:25

I have a bubble with my mum who is also my DD’s respite carer but we only get 4hours respite a month, at the moment I’m working one day a week and paying my mum to care for dd2 for that day, other than that I have no other support.

Ex is on furlough and doing nothing. He is flakey and tbh dd1 rarely wants to spend time with him anyway, he has called her but just speaks about himself on the phone, doesn’t really ask how she is.

OP posts:
Givemeabreak88 · 12/01/2021 10:19

My kids dad has never had them at his house so no difference really, he sees them by taking the to the park once a fortnight, which he hasn’t stuck to anyway 🙄 someone tested positive in my sons class in November and he hasn’t seen them since because of that so you are not alone

Original poster
Lovemusic33 · 12/01/2021 11:21

@Givemeabreak88

My kids dad has never had them at his house so no difference really, he sees them by taking the to the park once a fortnight, which he hasn’t stuck to anyway 🙄 someone tested positive in my sons class in November and he hasn’t seen them since because of that so you are not alone
What is wrong with these men?

Usually ex would offer to just take them out somewhere for lunch but due to lockdown he now won’t do that and the dc are too old to go to the park now. When he does see them he does nothing with them, before lockdown they would spend the day stuck in the car with him and his partner driving to different supermarkets so partner could go shopping, he would then buy them McDonald’s, so he’s not exactly dad of the year 😬

OP posts:
Givemeabreak88 · 12/01/2021 11:52

That’s what I was going to say, that he could still take them out but then I realised you said teens and I’m sure they wouldn’t want to hang around in the park! It has made it difficult tbh as my ex would usually take them cinema and for food but now with everything closed they can’t even do that so the most they got was an hour at the park, I think a lot of men have sadly used this situation as an excuse not to see their kids. My ex asked me if he should just not see them till it was over Hmm

Orf1abc · 12/01/2021 11:56

Would your mum not give you a break without charging you?

Zhomby20 · 22/01/2021 11:23

My ex husband lives with his new partner, she has adult kids, one son who seems to come and go between his girlfriends and back.

Ex now states our kids can not go there as covid is too bad. He hasn’t even bothered to make arrangements to meet them for a walk and talk (they are 11 and 16). 11 year really struggling with his anxiety and mental health and wants to see he dad.
Ex is not working so just at home all day whilst I work from home and manage the kids learning and needs.
I normally have no contact with the ex but text him last night to explain DS was struggling and could he come and stay.
He text back this morning in his normal arsehole way, saying no.
I suggested he did a socially distanced walk around the park. He still said no.
Then ended narcissistically with a ‘have a great day!’

So yeah I think there are loads of us mothers who have been left to deal with all this shit whilst these fathers sit back and show their kids that they really don’t care!

Starlightstarbright1 · 23/01/2021 23:51

My Ds hasn’t seen his dad in a decade so no change with Covid.

My Ds has Adhd/Asd he goes into school 4 days a week. I am a Keyworker but he also comes under the vulnerable person. Could your child go into school?

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