Controversial topic on family size but...

[Songbird232018]

Ok I'm hoping this is the right place... I just need to see if any other line parents feel the same here?

Now firstly let me say I have nothing against bigger families or single mums or anything really! Each to their own... one child isn't for some people whereas 6 aren't for others.

I got into a argument today as a mutual friend was actively on social media complaining that her 4 children needed laptops for home schooling etc and also comparing that more food should be provided due to kids being home all the time... now I may of been in a bad mood but I just said that she chose to have 5 kids with her partner so surely she knew kids were expensive? I know times are hard and I get it but the entities attitude of having kids and therefore deserving handout la and free stuff because you can't afford it just annoyed me.

I made a choice to have as many kids as we could comfortably afford to have to be able to give him everything and take holidays etc etc

This last complains that she can't get a holiday with kids due to the coasting the had another baby and still is constantly ok about the unfairness of it all.

Is it really archaic for me to feel this way and voice it or am I not alone?

I sympathise with her on the laptop front, this whole homeschooling mess is completely unprecedented.

But I don't disagree with you on the rest.

@MaraThorn

I sympathise with her on the laptop front, this whole homeschooling mess is completely unprecedented.

But I don't disagree with you on the rest.

Sums it up

Yes to be fair the laptops was massive unforeseen but it gets ok my nerves how lots of people don't factor in the costs ( basic and fun) before having lots of children then complaining about it.

I have a large family and wouldnt expect the school to provide laptops - however i am lucky as we can afford our own. If you are a family on a low income it is unfair to expect them to be able to suddenly produce extra laptops, considering a decent one starts at around £300. Most people do not have that kind of money lying around.
So although i wouldnt expect free handouts myself, i can completely understand why this is a worrying issue for many.

If a friend was going through this i would be sympathetic. Most people who want large families do not generally plan for the cost of home schooling during pandemics.

Are you tone deaf? You do realise you've posted this in the lone parents topic area don't you?

If someone was already struggling then had more children than yes that is poor planning, and I would judge a little (to myself, wouldn't comment). However, life changes, unless you have known her very well for a long time you have no idea what her circumstances were when she decided to have those children. Maybe she was financially able to support 5 children, then by some unforeseen event (relationship breakdown, bereavement, redundancy etc) she is now struggling. What would you have her do? Should she abandon 3 of them so she can go on holiday with the remaining 2?