will try to keep this long story short, marriage broke down in 2020, we have 3 children 11, 9 & 4, we own a house which I am in ( up for sale) and he is renting, of course I'm hurting and I had hoped things would have gotten easier by now but he is making my life a misery,...children go to him every second w/end, only the older children are not giving me positive vibes that they want to go eg last night their dad was shouting at the middle child on the phone for not having called him for 4 days ( I tell the kids every night call your dad, odd few nights I may forget to tell them,) obviously he thinks it is my doing when they dont call ( they have witnessed alot of their dads nasty behaviour towards me/ not physical but his tongue is not nice, I have a illness which he constantly wishes and insinuates will be the end of me soon..name calling etc, I have to sheild he takes the kids out in public places etc, so they are making up their own minds and our son the middle child just doesnt seem fussed about his dad) I don't know how to deal with it I don't know if I am manipulating without realising ( I could stop the children hearing his conversations , I shouldn't let them see he is making me miserable, I shouldn't let them pick up on how he is hurting me which is part of the reason I know they are trying to protect me and worried about not having their mum, but I do try to hide as much as I can they are clever) I sent a message last night telling him he was wrong go shout at our son, and that he does not want to go to his house this w/ end, which he did say because he knows he will have to listen to his dad constantly telling him off ( sons words)... my question is, is all this normal should I just ride with it and will it get better? Do I make the children go to his house when they say they don't want too? ( of course the break helps me but I worry he is mentally scarring them) I also know he loves them and needs to see them and that he will be suffering ( he wasn't a bad husband on the whole, just lazy and negative, grumpy he is quite older than me do I know he will be tired also and i was grumpy also, it ended due to him being unfaithful).. I want to move on, I hope one day we can both talk and the children will enjoy going to his house and not have to endure his nasty tongue specifically hearing nasty comments about their mum....How so I deal with all this, please offer advice!