Hello,
My children are secondary school age and my work is out the house for just for a couple of hours a day.
My kids have the choice for keyworker at school, but they tried it last year and didnt like it.
There was another option for them to stay at home but i havent left them home alone before.
Over Christmas the children saw their father and secondary schools were meant to be opening a week later than first thought, their father told them he can work from home now.
So the children come back home and told me that their father told them the school is closed and they can go to their fathers.
Annoyed that their father spoke through the children and not direct to me, which he seems to always do, I spoke to him and he said he was just talking to the children.
I had no choice but to let them go for a week.
They were there two days then lockdown happened.
My work is still open so it looks like the children are spending the whole lockdown with their father. (exception of every other weekend if allowed)
The thing is the message is stay at home and i have a over whelming feeling to keep my children close to me.
If i still go to work then I feel i'm putting my work before them but I also feel my work is not important enough, don't get me wrong im very glad I have the job.
The first lockdown I did take time off as I didn't really know what covid was. I enjoyed the time off helping my kids with their school work.
My eldest disagreed and moaned about everything, and then started to moan about everything the rest of the year.
Have spoke to father and he says its just a teenager.
I spoke to the GP and they gave me some websites. Im really worried and I think my child would need to talk to someone but they dont want to.
If i choose to not work it will either be unpaid or i could risk losing my job.
I cant use their dad for just while im at work as we dont live near each other so travel time will impact childrens school day.
Its really upsetting me about my situation and have nobody to talk to, my exhusband is horrid to me but is good to the children (although i believe its mostly all material)
Im sure i might need to see someone myself as i just have a lot of issues mainly to do with ex-husband but not sure if i want to make a fuss.
I have a image of being told to stop being so pathic, everyone has problems.
They more the years goes by, i just find myself between crying and being angry.
I dont feel lonely and i enjoy being on my own but i just miss/thought of having, having a rock as a partner or just someone to talk through life with that is by my side.