Ex changing the agreed plan

[Unhappydivorced]

Me and my ex agreed with the help of our social worker when and where handovers will be (at my mums house).... we’ve had issues with him being very early to collect, making a scene at her house and taking pictures of her house which the social worker spoke to him about this week. He’s now refusing to come to my mums. She had to meet him this morning somewhere and he’s now saying he won’t come to hers for drop off on Sunday. My mum can’t drive in the dark and I can’t be near him due to DV so what do I do?? There is no court order yet as we haven’t had a final hearing. Social worker is off today. He and I have a contact phone we use to communicate by text and I can’t get into an argument with him about this. I’m so stressed about it. Wwyd?

He is digging himself a massive contact hole, judges in my experience do not approve of violent men behaving like this and he risks losing contact altogether.
Stick to the original plan altogether and do not deviate from it. If he doesn't want to go to your mothers house tough luck.
This is controlling behaviour and he is trying to get you to run around after him.
My first husband also DV tried this one and was not given any contact rights to his son in the end.
It is not up to you to work it out. He was told to pick up DC from your mother's house, that's what he will do. Don't allow him to control you.
In my opinion violent men do not make good fathers, they eventually take it out on the kids and try to manipulate you through them. He will be no loss to any of you.

Write everything down, every single incident, one more day won't hurt but do not allow him to deviate from the plan again, he is playing with you. You mum can pick them up when it's light. Then never let this happen again. He picks them up from the house or not at all.
Don't panic, stick to your guns, you will not lose the kids.

Thank you for your responses. How would you word a reply to his message? I hate this I can’t even bring myself to communicate with him by text.

Oh I changed my username btw, I’m the original poster