Hi,
I'm at that point where I feel like anyone I speak to about this is kinda fed up hearing about it so I find myself here...
I'll try and make a long story short here - Dad has had little involvement with his children (8&9) since we split in 2014, he once went 18 months without even seeing them and to put that into perspective had seen them 3 times in 3 years and that was because I had facilitated it happening, he has not once seen them off his own doing and sorting out in the last 4 years.
A couple of years back he got himself in some deep deep trouble and ran 250 miles away to live, he's been there ever since - fast forward to Christmas 2020 - he asks can he have the kids over Christmas, I think great, he's finally stepping up - when I asked where they would be staying he says with him and his girlfriend - now a bit of backstory - he was saying he loves me, wants to be with me, will move closer to the kids and I and I refused completely, I wouldn't dream of going there again with him but then a month later he's taking my kids to stay with him and his girlfriend - he's either known her 4 minutes or hasn't changed his lying cheating ways - I'm guessing the latter. ANYWAY - I backtrack and say I don't feel comfortable them coming to stay under those circumstances in retaliation he stops paying maintenance but not only that ignored and refused my request to order and send his children a winter coat out of said maintenance - infuriating, I then tested positive for Covid so couldn't work and asked him could he pay maintenance that month in light of that - "your life has nothing to do with me" I was told in response to me asking.
Anyway, the other day I was putting the tree up etc and was talking to the kids about it - they would love to go and stay with him - despite my reservations I contacted him and said ok, they can come but I would like the address of where they are staying incase of emergencies - he has point blank refused so in my mind he's refusing time with his kids - I also messaged his sister asking her to have a word and she ignored me.
He obviously has thrown me under the bus, I'm bitter, I'm jealous etc - which couldn't be further from the truth, I just want to know where in the world my kids are and after the year its been and all the isolation I could bloody use a week off but here we are!
Does anyone have any wise words, encouragement or advice to offer please, because I've tried with this man for years now and to be honest, I'm ready to vanish with the kids - not literally, just from his life.