Son is asking about his dad

[HallieJohn97]

My son is 5 and asking about his dad.
His dad is my bilogocial brother who forced himself on me. I left home at 18 and had my son, not been home since.
My mum died when I was young, dad was/is a neglectful abusive alcoholic.
I'm 25 now and raising him alone, my brother found me and is demanding to meet his son and demanding access.
I never reported it as I was scared. I just left.
Not sure what to do.
Can't go to the police, how would I prove that he forced me?

I also agree to lying and saying child not his to protect yourself/your child x

I would change all social media and really lock down all privacy settings, never posting about child's name or photo online. Don't add anyone connected to old life. Samw with phone numbers, emails, address. Lock it down. When you register to vote always ensurw of edited list so your info/area not published online. Never put your photo as a profile picture on anything. If you can move. Do it. Asap. Change names etc. If you have to change jobs. Basically anything from old life connected to him shut down. It's hard but this is abour protecting yourself and however hard, can't be linked especially if you don't know how he found you. Change your habits too eg where you shop, cut hair, gym, socialise etc.

Another thing when things settle. You could talk to your GP about the abuse and that your child is product of it, without mentioning names so it is on your records and they might offer help. Just say giving aniexty and struggling to sleep, on pins all the time, likely to give antidepressants and refer for counselling. Again, helpful for you in terms of healing and helpful in terms of evidence x

@Lizadork

If mostly protected then still a chance father could be one of his friends. If i were you - once this has settled down a bit I would do an ancestry DNA test on child under a fake name (and everything can be set to private until you want to look and then set back to private) as this might help determine if indeed your son's parents are related. Wonderful group called DNA detectives on facebook that could help you understand process, how to hide results/delete results/investiagw results, and help determine if number of shared DNA/matchea does indicate parents related. Use a fake name/username for yourself and child. If you test too, if will automatically sort matches of mothers side and fathers side. Something to consider.

No, the timings match up well enough for me to be 99.99% sure that he is the father. Either way I could tell him that he isn't the father, not sure it would make a difference. It would fall on deaf ears. I agree that changing my name and moving away is probably the best idea.

I agree on just insisting the child is not his - he's unlikely to push for a dna test through courts. Wouldn't do any harm for you to move for your own piece of mind though but you can't keep running forever, that's no life for you.

Please get yourself some professional support. They will be able to guide you in what you should do for your son too. You don't sound to me as though you've processed it, just pushed it away (this isn't a criticism, I can understand that you haven't told anyone about it)

Thanks for all of the advice.
I will speak to the GP and I have locked down my social media.
I am looking into changing my surname and moving in the new year.
A friend who he's been asking about me has told him that my son is not his. Hopefully you're right and he won't try anything. I am not sleeping much due to anxiety at the moment. Hopefully this will pass