Hi all,
My narcissistic ex of 13 years / children's Dad hasnt bothered to have the children to stay (he lives at his new victim's house) for the past 9 months. Says it's due to Covid and because 'he wants to keep them safe' (insinuating that I don't!) I don't believe for one minute that Covid is the real reason, but more a cover up of the real reason. I've told him that gov't advice is for children to continue visiting the non residing parent, that we're more likely to catch Covid from people in a supermarket than a sensible visit to his for the weekend. Both households are fit and well, no underlying health problems. More damage is being done to them by him not bothering, and me left doing all the explaining (I've been left doing the explaining every time that he's blown the children out. His way of punishing me for leaving him I guess)Whenever I state facts or ask questions (eg when there were no cases of Covid in his town, why wouldn't he see the children) he just ignores the question..
But if it was him saying he really wanted to see the children and I'd said no for 9 months because of Covid then he'd be fuming with me!
I got the children to FaceTime him 2 weeks ago (against their will but I feared judgement) and then we've left it until he Facetime'd them (today) youngest didn't want to talk to him, and I'm cross with myself because I put the phone in front of her which made her feel really awkward. She wouldn't speak to him so he said "I'd like to speak to you tomorrow to know what to get you for Xmas" so now she feels like she won't get a gift unless she speaks to him, but doesn't want to. I said I can pass on her gift wish to him if she wants. Middle child point blank refuses to speak to him. Eldest child is a people pleaser and doesn't feel able to say no.
Frustrated with him at his mind games. Subtle but unsettling for the smalls. He knows how to hit that soft spot.
Puts no effort in to being a parent, but wants the effort in return!?
Sorry for the vent